So I went to Confession today. One of the things I confessed was possible sloth since I am not working currently and have pretty much given up on finding a job in the short term (in Sept/Oct, I plan on heading to Los Angeles and then Latin America as part of a long-term missionary work with the Comboni Missionaries). I think I told the Priest that I have had no luck finding work and that I have pretty muchg given up in the short-term, although I will be moving ahead with the Combonis. Shortly after Confession, I worried that I had somehow lied/misrepresented to the Priest, although I am not honestly sure how I did so, but I worried about it anyway.
Then, at services (the Good Friday celebration), I started to feel angry and angry/hateful thoughts. For example, during the Gospel reading, an angry/hateful thought toward Jesus crossed my mind and it was like I got irritated at His words to the High Priest and then Pilate and it was like it crossed my mind that I wanted Him to suffer. It really disturbed me. Then, because of these issues (i.e. Scrupulosity and bad thoughts), I started to get angry and more angry and hateful, possibly even resentful, thoughts crossed my mind towards God and in general.