Confession too long?

I am having my first Confession tomorrow. I am scrupulous. There is supposed to be a lot of people going for Confession tomorrow (Communal Penance service).

I have a whole list of sins to go through.

Should I wait to go last so that I don’t keep the other people waiting?

Any other tips?

I think going last is considerate of you. But be aware that father may feel somewhat weary by then also, so you still may not get as much time as you feel you need.

Just be prepared and let father lead you. If he moves the confession along, be prepared for that and go with him. Start with the sins that trouble you most, so you will get them heard, and move on to the lesser sins, so that if father cuts you off, you will know that you covered the important issues.

Most importantly, especially for someone who is scrupulous, you must trust your confessor. Even if he seems to cut you off and absolves you before you feel like you said all you wanted to, you must trust that the absolution is valid and all your sins are forgiven.

If for any reason the process leaves you with questions, make a separate appointment with father to discuss, especially if scrupulosity becomes and issue. For scrupulous people, you need to find a regular confessor, one who you trust, and one who you will obey.

But have no fear. It is a wonderul sacrament and I hope you find the mercy and love that it is indended to provide.

Congratulations on receiving this wonderful Sacrament tomorrow. I am praying that you experience a peaceful time before then knowing that God is with you, that God will help you and lead you. Know that you have nothing to fear.

I assume this is scheduled as first Confession for several people as well as an open Penance service for others.

There may be several priests present if it is open for others besides those making their first penance.

This priest will know already that it is First Confession for adults - which unlike first confession for 7 year olds - means it will take more time.

Do not worry about where in line you should be. Remember others may have just as long a list as you feel you do.

I suggest you attend the penance service, say prayers for yourself to make a good confession, and then get in line. While in line, focus on Jesus.

After you say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. This is my First Confession.” Please tell Father you suffer with being scrupulous. Father is a holy priest of Jesus. He will be sitting in the Person of Christ. Listen to Father. When he absolves you, allow this beautiful holiness to sink in. Do your penance that Father gives you and feel this wonderful gift wash over you.

What a beautiful gift you are receiving tomorrow. Congratulations and welcome to the Church! :flowers:

Thanks for the responses. :slight_smile:

Also, I don’t remember how many times I committed some mortal sins. What do I do?

Father will help you. Even for someone who isn’t making a first confession sometimes we don’t have a number in our head even for some mortal sins. We express our sorrow and confess as best as we can.


I would highly suggest not making your first confession at a communal penance.

These are made for those that are going to be “in and out” and are brushing up for the holy days ahead.

You need time to sit with Gods representative and pour out your heart and take some time because since it’s your first confession…it’s a very pivital moment for your soul because you are renouncing your sins and wishing to become a new creation. I would call the rectory and get a private appointment for a first and long needed confession.

As far as #'s of sins go…of course you’re not going to know that since it’s been so long. What is necessary is to state the sin (without giving excuses or “saving” circumstances…really and simply accuse yourself of each crime) …and how much you’ve done ( quite often, daily, on rare occasion, in a week i’d say X times" .

The spiritual doctor (the confessor) needs to know what sicknesses you have (the sin) and how servere the infection (the #).

God bless.

As someone has already said, confessions can be a source of concern for a scrupulous person…but there is an easy remedy - trust your confessor completely. Take it from someone who also struggles with scrupulosity…I often wish that I could go back and repeat my first confession (I joined the Church as an adult 3 years ago) or make a general confession to feel “clean”.

For a scrupulous person there will always be nagging doubts: “Did I really forget to confess that sin or did I unconsciously conceal it? Did I feel enough remorse? Have I confessed sins that didn’t really happen because of my scrupulosity?” I was told that scrupulous people should never repeat confessions or even make general confessions because it only serves to feed the scrupulosity. All I can do is trust that advice and try to make the best confessions I can each time.

I would advise you to tell your confessor that you think you’re a scrupulous person and then trust whatever they tell you to do. At times you will feel like disobeying them and perhaps re-confessing a sin or skipping communion when you’re in doubt over something…you have to fight those urges and remind yourself that it’s the scrupulosity that makes you feel this way. That’s not to say that you can do whatever you want and forget about your conscience, but you have to trust your confessor over yourself when you feel scrupulosity sneaking up on you.

Check out this list of 10 Commandments for the Scrupulous:


This app can be very helpful as a guide to confession. It has an introduction section, an examination of conscience, and a guide for the sacrament itself.



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