I suffer with chronic severe pain and am always concerned that because of the pain I will do (or not do) things that my brain says I should (or should not) examples would include spending time with my family instead of on the couch, neglecting my housework, or expecting my family to help me with routine things(which they usually will not do). I find I get very angry with everything when my pain level is high. How much does that affect what should and should not be brought to the confessional? I don’t want to use my pain as an excuse but does it justify sins of attitude? I’m sorry if this doesn’t make a lot of sense to anyone…I’m pretty upset because of the pain today…and don’t want to make things worse by sinning and blaming it on the pain…
Im so sorry that you are in this situation. I had to retire two years ago due to Chronic pain. My pain doc finally put me on Fentanyl patches with Norco for breakthrough pain. I actually am not mean anymore according to my dear daughter! Please find a qualified pain/rehab physician that will work with you to find relief for your suffering. I’m praying for you.
PS: unless a person has lived with chronic pain, they cannot imagine what it does to your entire life. Please don’t worry about those who dare to judge you, their opinions are irrelevant.:rolleyes:
Anyone who doesn’t get cranky with high pain levels is not human. I live in constant pain and cannot sleep for more than four hours without getting up from back pain and referred cramps down the legs. This doesn’t help the acute pain from leg ulcers due to capillary failure from diabetes. It is two oclock in the morning now and I am hanging out for another pain killer at eight in the morning. This is every night. I am also on 24 hour oxygen and am dying from OCPD due to pulmonary hypertension. So moving from one room to another takes about two minutes recovery to get my breath and stop the pain in my lungs.I say this so you understand I know what you are going through.
So if you are a bit short with your loved ones, they and the Lord understand.
But it is a wonderful opportunity to be thoughtful of your family around you. I never complain to my wife as she is so stressed out, I don’t want her to worry more. I find myself offering pain up to the intentions of Our Lady, not forgetting the souls of those I have sinned with in the past, and am so thankful to Jesus that my days of serious sinning are over, and I have made my peace with Him.
This doesn’t stop me from trying and failing to understand the value of human suffering, but it is all I have left to offer my God. I see it as offering only ashes, but ashes that Mary can use in planting some flowers she can take to Jesus and argue they came from me.
Be kind to yourself but be kinder to others.
I was in hospital for two and a half months last year and I was pleased when one of the nurses told me they thought I was the nicest patient they had on the ward. Silly pride but I am only human. Don’t get cranky, hold your tongue and think of the sufferings of our Jesus.
Praying for your health & recovery. When your in confession you can ask & say to the priest exactly what you have said here. He will give you proper guidance.
That’s a question for your confessor. I always say if in doubt bring it to confession. It is at least venial and it never hurts to confess those once in a while when you are repentant although it isn’t required. You need to be the judge of whether you are doing the best job of finding solutions to manage or rid yourself of pain that is obviously having an effect on your family life.
When I examine my conscience and believe I have used my pain as an excuse for being slothful, thats exactly what I confess and the number of times. Be not afraid, listen to your priest.
Impatience is often a result of fatigue. We use a lot of energy combatting the incessant pain. If I have to apologize I need to confess, thats my rule of thumb.
I’m not lessening your REASONS for sinning,
but pain, in a normal person is a healthy response
to DANGER to their health.
SO also is fear, it is given by a loving God so
that we do not end up rejecting His love for us,
and sin mortally and end up in hell!
Now combine the two:
Do you fear the pain MORE than you fear sinning
mortally? I am not trying to EXAGGERATE your
sins. But it is NOT God’s will for you to sin!
So it stands to reason that it is a temptation for
you to use your pain as a reason for sinning!
Confess privately to God this and ask Him to lovingly
put the fear of God in it’s rightful place in your life.
Loving Father, who is in heaven,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
as we have forgiven those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
“One of the greatest tragedies in the world is wasted pain. Pain without relation to the cross is like an unsigned check - without value. But once we have it countersigned with the Signature of the Saviour on the Cross, it takes on an infinite value.”
Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen
It makes sense to me. I am disabled with severe chronic pain as well. It’s difficult sometimes to untangle the ways I cope (or not) with pain and how I interact with people.
I confess irritability and wrath sometimes. I am not sure where you are supposed to draw the line. People who do not live in pain sometimes need to understand that they ought not to push boundaries with those who do suffer in constant pain, including wasting their time, needless argumentation, etc. It becomes difficult to cope with the pain and the irritating person.
But then there are times that people who live in pain use it as an excuse to become overly short with their fellows.
I am not sure where the line is drawn.
As far as laziness… I don’t know. There are only so many things you can do in a day. I try to choose my battles wisely. What others consider lazy is not really lazy when you have only so many tasks you can do without overdoing it and ending up in terrible pain.
I like what Pataro said.
grammysue731 “said suffer with chronic severe pain and am always concerned that because of the pain I will do (or not do) **things that my brain says I should **(or should not) examples would include spending time with my family instead of on the couch, neglecting my housework, or expecting my family to help me with routine things(which they usually will not do). I find I get very angry with everything when my pain level is high. How much does that affect what should and should not be brought to the confessional? I don’t want to use my pain as an excuse but does it justify sins of attitude? I’m sorry if this doesn’t make a lot of sense to anyone…I’m pretty upset because of the pain today…and don’t want to make things worse by sinning and blaming it on the pain.”.
I think it would be a good idea to discuss it with a priest in the confessional or just discuss it with a priest but also others…possibly professional ?
I know about severe pain and live with it everyday and have done so for years and will do so for many years to come. Not fun at all.
People can say they understand but until they are there and have to live it day after day and hour after hour, they do not know. each person who is in severe pain deals with it in different ways since each of us is different. When anyone is in severe pain, they are usually depressed , angry and frustrated. I speak from experience.
Your brain telling you what you “should” be doing " sounds like guilt to me. At some point, you have to give up trying to do things that will only make the pain worse. Pain is telling your body not to do certain things. Sure, I try to do things and try to move as that is also good as no movement is bad for the body also. example, here I am at the computer trying to do something that I consider helpful to others and to God. That being said, your family needs to help more if they are not. You need to continually remind them that as a family, it is their responsibility to help. case closed. Also be specific. If sitting on the couch is what you can deal with considering the pain you are in then you sit on the couch! If because of pain meds, it makes me lack focus or comprehension and lethargic–that is what they do. I really am saddened by what I hear and within my own pain, I understand as much as I can. Pain can be so intense that you feel you are to lose your mind—please Lord, just make it stop—but often it still persists. What I do when my frustration get really bad and my pain is intolerable is go into the bathroom, turn on the shower and scream, often times to God to help me through it. Sometimes I just cry into a pillow. Sometimes I will hit a pillow getting the anger out without hurting anyone. Some people believe that getting the anger out this way is wrong—it is not. Anger is common to all people. How they deal with it is another story. I feel for you and will pray for you. I know I am babbling on also but I am in pain right now but sometimes, going on this forum and praying for someone helps with the pain. DOING MOIRE THAN WHAT YOUR BODY WILL TOLERATE WILL ONLY HARM YOUR BODY MORE. trying to find behavioral methods to deal with the anger caused by pain is going to take some time but you will find answers by praying on it, talking to others who understand your pain, talking to professionals who work with people in pain. It is so hard and what I have said is only the beginning. Gotta go. My pain is getting bad as our all the rest of my ailments which are flaring up. humor is also helpful. Watch something or read something that makes you laugh. research has shown this can be very effective since humor does help. If I were a car, my shock absorbers need changing, my electrical keeps shorting out, my battery is not kick starting and I really feel for you. I really do.
Thank you all for your replies. My pain makes me so angry and often those that are closest to me are the ones I lash out at the hardest. I absolutely hate to use my pain as an excuse for anything but dont want to carry the guilt of sin because of it. The line becomes so clouded when the intensity of the pain rises…Although the pain is relentless I can usually separate it from my emotions. …today and the last few weeks have been the exception. .I haven’t even been able to concentrate on my prayers. .I do truly appreciate your prayers for me.
keep talking, keep praying and if you: want send me a PM
Maybe find a support group online of people with chronic pain issues. It helps to have a small network of people who deal with these things each day along with you.