I’ve booked a confession after preparing it. But because it not on the day I booked it I have thrown it away and now I have to start again. I been doing confession for 25 years so I know what its all about for me.

But my current problem is that how do I seperate my feelings and sins or put them as sins rather than feelings? The priest does know exactly what is going off for me and I know at the last confession said they are not really sins. I never had that said before (apart from xmas which I knew to begin with wasn’t really the right place but it was how I wanted to move forward with something). I don’t mind him saying they aren’t really sins if that is just his style-for me, but,but how do I make it a proper confession when physically I haven’t done anything wrong but thoughts and feelings well hmm but he knows all that.

Ps I am Anglican so not worried by the Absolution as you guys are etc is more about how to present it and we don’t have venile or whatever it is you all mention or if we do I haven’t ever presented my confession like that and none of the priests have ever suggested in any form that I should. But I know I haven’t physically done anything wrong but my thoughts haven’t always been all there and its how to word all that. I do tend to read it from the paper so I don’t get emotional or anything as of the Jesuits spritiual exercises kind of suggest we do at the end of each day. Just non judgementally reflect … But a part of me is worried he might say they aren’t really sins again and if that is just his way of being kind or something I don’t mind but thoughts are sins otherwise why do we ask for forgiveness for them in the services?

Maybe the time has come to ask your priest to really teach you how to confess - admit you are puzzled as to how to classify your perceived shortcomings and ask him to help you learn how to examine your conscience before confession , and how to actually prepare for your confession.

He certainly doesn’t want a shopping list of sins for me that would go on for hours :wink: ] but he does need to know in what areas you are falling short.

It strikes me that you are looking at confession more as a time/opportunity for spiritual direction rather than a time to admit to the fats which are separating you from God .

Again - time to talk to your priest.

Maybe you could start by how you view “confession”. (“Book a confession”??? Yikes!God is not a travel agent!) Confession is only part of the requirement for receiving the sacrament. Contrition and penance are needed to receive the many graces from the sacrament, including absolution.

And, physically you haven’t done anything wrong? Really? Many of us wish we could honestly say that at the end of any given day. But, anyway, we sin in thought, word, and deed. Mortal sin does not require a physical act. And, while mortal sin requires a formal reconciliation, and venial sin can be absolved through mass and eucharist, perhaps there is no need for you to go to formal reconciliation, except once annually as required by the precepts of the Church…I wish I were so disciplined to resist temptation that I only needed reconciliation once a year!

Another issue we must all come to grips with is keeping reconciliation theocentric and not egocentric. Perhaps in your examination of conscience if you consider what thoughts words and deeds might have offended the Lord, instead of dwelling on "is it a sin or isn’t it, and take it to reconciliation without even a passing thought of “but, I haven’t done anything wrong” might be a good starting point.

Good luck, and never be afraid to ask for the grace that comes from the sacrament, and to offer a contrite spirit and heart to the Lord for your wrong doings, or even potential wrong doings.


You asked: But my current problem is that how do I separate my feelings and sins or put them as sins rather than feelings?

First by knowing what sin is. A sin is a deliberate transgression of a law of God, it is offensive to God, it is a transgression because grace is resistible and the divine will can be disobeyed, and it is committed whenever a person knows that something is contrary to the law of God and then freely does the action anyway. Action can be exterior, or indulging in a thought, or even an omission (the action is to avoid duty).

We can be burning with temptations and thoughts of sinful actions, but when we resist them, we do not give in to them. These are not themselves a sin that we willfully commit, when we resist them. The seven deadly sins: Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride. Wrath is vengeance for the object of our envy.

Very well put. :thumbsup:

Booking a confession: sorry but thats how we do it at our church because there is no set confession time. Booking- may be semantics means i’ve used the wrong word, rang the priest up and organised a time we were both free to do and that is how I have always done so so may be a wrong choice of word but exactly what I’ve done so sorry if you think it bit bit whatever but didn’t know how else to say it.

Thanks everyone for posting. You all have given me something constructive to work with as am preparing the newer version of what I had originally written. Its hard because yes I have deliberately transgressed and being able to put things into non egocentric words is harder still since sin has been very egocentric. Not using big words to show I know what words are and not using little words to not undermine I know what been doing is wrong. I have never before before been concerned about preparing a confession though always had that dentist thing but this time its almost as though I wish I didn’t have to actually use words at all. Not because not big enough about being sorry for my sins, But because of the whole package of it. I suppose the main thing is that the priest does know and it not about being perfect. It about being sorry. Simply sorry and that isn’t so always so easy to be and I think I am a step nearer hmm.

Thank you everyone

And the sermon today was just right up my street so to speak to help me prepare my confession properly with what I wanting to say with understanding that bit more too. I won’t go so far as to add the sermon was written for me to help me prepare my confession unless the priest really does read here and all - if you do well …:blush: (a little) But what I had been lacking for words to describe my sin as such, its now there thanks to the sermon.

One slight idea: maybe a ‘refreash’ course on the sacerments for adults could be setup by the church (or somebody in the church) to answer questions in the area that people are unsure of.:hug3:

Other people would hear it but I wouldn’t because tend not to go to groups etc especially if he chose tuesdays. But thanks and it is something I do struggle with I suppose each time even 25 years later on I do:blush: But I have now worded my sin and yes an earlier poster wondered if I i saw confession as more spiritual guidence and in many a way I do.

When we are phsyically sick we go to the doctor
When we are mentally sick we go to a doctor in mental health
When our teeth are hurting we go to the dentist
when our feet are agony we see a pediatrist
so when we are sick in faith we see the priest and sinning is a part of being sick in faith and the priest via God and confession in the case of sins, heals our faith as with all the other professions. So the confession is like going to the doctor. We have sinned and therefore at ill and confession is a way of letting go that ill.

The serious (deadly) sin is a lack of charity. But, the Holy Spirit makes it possible for us to experience conversion (our resolve and rejection of sinful actions) known through our awakened conscience and the teaching of the church.

So when we confess we give assent to receive the strength of the Holy Spirit. Our contrition demonstrates that we now have, again, charity toward God. Then through the penance also repair injury to the church community that came through our sin. So not only is one healed but the church.

confession is only part of the process of being healed, we go for the consultation if you like. The rest of the work we have to do ourselves of which the penance is supposed to aid us to bring us to God which we put into practice in between time. I received a lot of clarity yesterday

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