Confessions of a "scared to go to confession" kid

thought that was kind of a funny title for a not-so funny thing…am I the only one (I cant’ be, can I?) who isn’t 100% comfortable with the “complete confidence” factor? Ours is a small parish, and while I’m sure there are worse sins out there needing confessing, I still feel really really awkward even picturing myself confessing to our priest…either of them, actually. They both know us very well thanks to the kids…lol. I’d almost like to go to some far away church (tho being in the south, there are FAR fewer catholic churches than I’m used to up in the northeast!) and confess there just so I know he won’t know who I am…it feels really juvenile, but there’s this little stinking side of me saying “with your luck, you’d end up with the priest who gets ‘fired’ for breaking the confidence thing – and it would be your confession!” – which again, is seriously odd b/c my sins are nothing that would cause anyone’s mouth to hang open or anything…I don’t think I really have done anything seriously gossip-worthy in YEARS…but am I the only one who (even tho she knows she should trust in the vows) isn’t 100% comfortable? Even at confession 5min before my wedding, I still felt like “oh, he’s gonna tell my mom!!!” – knowing full well that this particular priest would probably rather die a thousand deaths than offer any dishonor to the collar…yet there I was, in a sweat…again, with nothing seriously gossip-worthy on my tongue…

To tell the truth, I’ve never even considered that my confessor would “tell” anything I have told him in confession…And I have confessed a couple of really embarrassing sins to him! I really don’t think you need to worry.

I confess to the same priest most of the time…He knows me well, and I have just had to get over that one. Because he knows me, I think he can be of real help…He knows where I’m coming from, so to speak…

So…Take a deep breath and confess! Your secrets will be safe…You can take that one to the bank.

This is really embarrassing for me. I just talked to our priest today & told him that I felt like I had a “school girl crush” on him. He was very nice about it. I had figured this has happened to him before & was right. He said that’s what happens when someone actually listens to you when you’re talking. lol
I’m pretty sure that is where I got that feeling from. It was nothing perverted - I just really like talking to him.
My hubby’s not so good at listening with his full attention! :eek:
Anyway, I felt better after confessing that to him even though it was pretty embarrassing!
Good luck with going to confession, though. I have told some pretty embarrassing things & everything has turned out fine.

OK, I have to say that I have the same problem. In fact, I try to go to confession when they have a service and import a number of priests. That allows me to go to someone that I don’t know. Another issue with living in the south and not having many churches, the priests know you and know you well. There is nothing anonymous about going to confession.

Yes, we both need to grow up. But it is hard. I am going to try to make it a point to go to confession monthly. That will make me go to a priest that I know, one that I have had lunch with.

I will check back in January.

This is why the option for confession behind a screen is wonderful. Even though you can recognize his voice and he will probably recognize yours, the fact that you cannot see each other gives you the anonymity you need for confession. I much prefer this. The two priests I go to regularly for confession (not choosing which one - just going to whoever is there) know me well by now, and I know them, but not being able to see his face and his not being able to see mine makes it so much easier to say what I need to say without embarrasment.

Remember, the Devil does not want you to confess. And he does not want you to get the good advice that a regular confessor can give much better than a priest who doesn’t know you and the state of your soul.

I am uneasy about confessing, I don’t think it is because of the whole idea that the priest may tell (the priests don’t know me very well - we have 3, 2 of whom only came in september - i havn’t seen one of the priests yet) we are also a parish that is “shared” with another. For me the problem is just the entire confessing thing. I feel like I will be the only one, and the priest will be shocked at what I have done - I know this won’t be the case but I still feel that way. I don’t have that relieved sensation or happiness after having confessed. Indeed confession is something I could live without… :frowning:

There was a time where I had some pretty big sins to confess and I was afraid to reveal them. I can’t tell you the number of times i tried and tried and failed.

It was through prayer that I received my courage to go and tell it all and I did. I was amazed by my Confessors gentleness and understanding.

I now go weekly and this regular attendance has helped me to get over the ‘fear factor’.

The only fear I harbour now is the fear of a missed opportunity for confession!

[quote=momof3boys]This is really embarrassing for me. I just talked to our priest today & told him that I felt like I had a “school girl crush” on him. He was very nice about it. I had figured this has happened to him before & was right. He said that’s what happens when someone actually listens to you when you’re talking. lol
I’m pretty sure that is where I got that feeling from. It was nothing perverted - I just really like talking to him.
My hubby’s not so good at listening with his full attention! :eek:
Anyway, I felt better after confessing that to him even though it was pretty embarrassing!
Good luck with going to confession, though. I have told some pretty embarrassing things & everything has turned out fine.
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One thing I’ve heard is that you are advised to confess “feelings” for a priest to a DIFFERENT priest (and possibly not mention who or even that he is a priest). I guess it worked okay in your case, but suppose that priest was having inappropriate feelings about you…it might lead him into temptation…

[quote=leaner]thought that was kind of a funny title for a not-so funny thing…am I the only one (I cant’ be, can I?) who isn’t 100% comfortable with the “complete confidence” factor? Ours is a small parish, and while I’m sure there are worse sins out there needing confessing, I still feel really really awkward even picturing myself confessing to our priest…either of them, actually. They both know us very well thanks to the kids…lol. I’d almost like to go to some far away church (tho being in the south, there are FAR fewer catholic churches than I’m used to up in the northeast!) and confess there just so I know he won’t know who I am…it feels really juvenile, but there’s this little stinking side of me saying “with your luck, you’d end up with the priest who gets ‘fired’ for breaking the confidence thing – and it would be your confession!” – which again, is seriously odd b/c my sins are nothing that would cause anyone’s mouth to hang open or anything…I don’t think I really have done anything seriously gossip-worthy in YEARS…but am I the only one who (even tho she knows she should trust in the vows) isn’t 100% comfortable? Even at confession 5min before my wedding, I still felt like “oh, he’s gonna tell my mom!!!” – knowing full well that this particular priest would probably rather die a thousand deaths than offer any dishonor to the collar…yet there I was, in a sweat…again, with nothing seriously gossip-worthy on my tongue…
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I haven’t worried so much about the disclosure to another of what I’ve confessed. But I think that some priests do remember what you confess. When I’ve had to confess really embarassing things, I couldn’t help but feel that it would affect how the priest viewed me if, for example, I were to work with him in some way in the future --say on a parish project. For that reason, I prefer to go outside my parish and retain my anonynmity. I think really banal sins ARE FORGOTTEN by the priest but that the sensational ones are NOT. Of course, I do try especially to avoid sensational ones!

[quote=Confiteor]When I’ve had to confess really embarassing things, I couldn’t help but feel that it would affect how the priest viewed me.
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This my dear friend is Pride at work. Worried about how others view me.

Remember that what you are in the sight of Almighty God is what you are and nothing more.

Hey good title, I can totally relate. In fact that is how I got my name I was scared to death to go to confession. So much so I waited 17 years. Yes, I am still petrified to go. I finally had to go because I was having surgery and didn’t feel great about the outcome. Didn’t do well with the confession though, I am not worried that the priest will say anything, but in a small town, with probably 20 confessions per year with over 150 families, I am sure he remembers each one especially if you haven’t gone in 17 years and takes forever for confession. I just don’t like the fact he knows, I know, he knows.

So for the second one went to a large city for doc appointment found a church that had daily in the box confession and went. Don’t know who the priest was, he didn’t know me. Done. Will I go back to our parish priest no. Will I go back to the city maybe.

Living in a small rural area is a great place to raise your kids and live, but not so great for reconcilliation. I guess it has to have some draw backs, we can’t have our cake and eat it too.

scared

I think being nervous before confession is 100% understandable. Our pastor admits that he is anxious before he goes.

When I had some biggies to confess, I went to someone who I knew well, and who knew me well. I figured God already knew what I was going to say, and it didn’t get any worse than that. I knew this priest well enough to know that he would be kind and gentle, and at the time that is what I needed. Whether he remembers, I don’t know and I don’t care, but he’s never acted any differently towards me.

I don’t worry about the priest saying anything about my sins. I know he won’t. And I know what I have to tell him is not that sensational. My confession could probably be the confession of 100’s of others. Probably the people around me are more aware of my sins than I am at times, so it’s not like they’d be hearing anything they don’t know already, if there was a disclosure.

[quote=acadian]I think being nervous before confession is 100% understandable. Our pastor admits that he is anxious before he goes.

When I had some biggies to confess, I went to someone who I knew well, and who knew me well. I figured God already knew what I was going to say, and it didn’t get any worse than that. I knew this priest well enough to know that he would be kind and gentle, and at the time that is what I needed. Whether he remembers, I don’t know and I don’t care, but he’s never acted any differently towards me.

I don’t worry about the priest saying anything about my sins. I know he won’t. And I know what I have to tell him is not that sensational. My confession could probably be the confession of 100’s of others. Probably the people around me are more aware of my sins than I am at times, so it’s not like they’d be hearing anything they don’t know already, if there was a disclosure.
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I think this is very humble and noble, but practically speaking, one may not wish to confess to a priest that knows him outside the confessional. (Having a regular confessor is a different issues and may indeed be a good idea if you can manage it with priests being transferred so often.) In theory, no priest would ever “remember” a specific sin or treat anyone differently. In theory, no priest would ever abuse a child. In practice, humans --even when acting in persona Christi–have human natures which may lead them to think and act like imperfect humans. I still recommend confessing anonymously to avoid these issues! Whether that requires going to a different parish or not depends on the size of your parish, the type of confessional, how often you go, whether or not you and the priest have more than a “sacramental” acquaintance.

Excommunication is the least of the worries of a priest who breaks the sacred seal of the confessional. The priest simply would not do it.

And yes, most of us are at least a little uncomfortable. But it’s something you can overcome. In fact, why don’t you tell your confessor that you have trouble with it next time you go to confession? He might have advice, or at least kind words.

Priests are actually instructed to FORGET every sin confessed to them… and believe me, I am sure they have all heard some doozies. They’re very kind and compassionate and will not be cruel to you in the confessional.

[quote=BillyT92679]Priests are actually instructed to FORGET every sin confessed to them… and believe me, I am sure they have all heard some doozies. They’re very kind and compassionate and will not be cruel to you in the confessional.
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25 years of non-confessing brought me to a face to face confession. not only am I positive that he has forgotten my sins I am positive HE has forgotten my sins. remember this old line" Forgive and Forget" The most incredible thing about this was that I have forgotten the sins I confessed, not forgotten what I said but forgotten to think and ponder and worry about them. Our Lord is wonderful isn’t He!!. Ask for help from the Holy Spirit, it’s amazing what will happen.

I hate war stories but mine is a good one
After years of wandering aimlessly I decided to return home to the church. I had only been to confession one time in my life…that was second grade. I was a very rebellious youth etc. drugs rock and roll …women etc. but anywho I knew I needed the sacrement. Like everyone else I was ashamed and embarassed of years and years of sins. But I mustered the courage to go to confession…luckily no-one was there in line. I decided that It wouldn’t matter if I went behind the screen since I was living far away from my childhood home and the priest wouldn’t know me from Adam. When I walked into the confessional there was a chair next to a priest for the penitent. I sat down and looked up at the priest…

The priest was my … … COUSIN!!! I confessed anyway!!!

Whoa! Now that’s a strange but true story! Glad you went. I just went myself after about 25 years away–best feeling in the world, being forgiven by the Lord! now I am working on a Radical Sanation of my marriage–meeting with my pastor next week.

it’s good to be home & glad you also made it! :thumbsup:

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