Confirmation memento for teen girl in tough family situation


#1

My fiance's cousin will be Confirmed next month, and we would like to give her something special to mark the occasion. Cousin A. doesn't get much attention or support from her mother (single parent). Cousin A is 14 and a freshman in high school, and it is only because of her grandparents that she has stayed in Religious Ed. this long.

To make a long story short, A does not have many role models, Catholic or otherwise, in her life. Fiance and I fear that if Cousin A doesn't feel she is loved and supported by the family, she may find herself in a difficult situation with no way out.

In addition to our prayers, we would like to give Cousin A a gift that will help her grow into a mature faith life, and also remember how deeply we care for her. Any ideas?


#2

Rosary - Catechism - Missal - Breviary - Catholic Bible


#3

Do you live close enough to her that you could go to the Confirmation? That is the most important and telling thing you could do for her.... be there. Let her know that you think of her and care for her. Give her a small token, sure, but most importantly let her know that you are available to her. If she has email, share your email address with her and keep in contact.

This may not be what you're looking for in a response, but if she doesn't feel loved and supported, that is the best gift you could ever give.

Melissa


#4

Theology of the Body for Teens


#5

Forget theology of the body, are you mad?! That's very, very inappropriate for teenagers, let alone children and adults.

Why not buy her the two books of Modern Saints, their lives and faces, by TAN books? I have them both and are a very, very fun read. She'll appreciate them more than even the Bible or a Breviary as she will find the latter two rather boring at first.

I suggest also buying the Life of Saint Bernadette by the same publisher and the Story of a Soul from sistersofcarmel.com/.

I also suggest buying he a beautiful Rosary and scapular. I really suggest you stay with the poor little thing and give her alot of support. Teach her about purity and modesty that she may grow how to love it. Do not allow her or encourage her to wear indecent clothes. Forget short skirts, jeans, pants, sleeveless shirts or blouses or blouses with straps. Also, do not allow her to wear that horrible thing called the 'bikini' for summer. That is the number one killer device there is.

However, if your fiancee's cousin insists on going swimming, i suggest searching on something called the burkini(or burqini). It's a modest swimsuit which seems perfect for preserving modesty.

Another thing... get her to love the Blessed Virgin ALOT. I have a big love for Maria Teresita Quevedo as she was such an ordinary girl yet she had such a devotion towards the Blessed Virgin that I instantly became a devotee of this lovely little girl. And be nice and gentle towards your fiancee's cousin. Do not be harsh or anything. And especially, and this is a mistake which many do, do not speak of holy things or of Mary in a serious, moody and sort of angry tone of voice... neither must you speak in a 'MYSTICAL' sort of way. Don't speak for the sake of speaking, says Saint Francis de Sales; speak so as to drop the honey of devotion and the love of Mary in each other's ears.

And another thing... do NOT let her in that High school musical or that Miley Cyrus disney rubbish. Do not let her read Twilight either. We don't want to endanger her purity!


#6

We are planning to attend her Confirmation. Depending on her mother's temperament that day, we may or may not attend the dinner hosted by the parish for the Confirmandi and their families. Mother has an unfortunate tendency of turning happy family gatherings into major drama fests.


#7

[quote="jlyn1110, post:6, topic:212525"]
We are planning to attend her Confirmation. Depending on her mother's temperament that day, we may or may not attend the dinner hosted by the parish for the Confirmandi and their families. Mother has an unfortunate tendency of turning happy family gatherings into major drama fests.

[/quote]

I'm sorry but, don't be like that. Not be speak against anyone but whether or not her mother becomes very angry or not, I tell you to still attend her ceremony. She needs love and good upbringing and to not attend becuase of her mother will show that you do not care for hervery much!


#8

[quote="philipmarie, post:5, topic:212525"]
Forget theology of the body, are you mad?! That's very, very inappropriate for teenagers, let alone children and adults.

[/quote]

The book suggested was theology of the body for TEENS, not the one for adults.

OP how about a subscription to Magnificat.


#9

[quote="shannyk, post:8, topic:212525"]
The book suggested was theology of the body for TEENS, not the one for adults.

[/quote]

Thanks for pointing it out to her. That is why it is always important to post with some degree of charity. :)


#10

[quote="philipmarie, post:7, topic:212525"]
I'm sorry but, don't be like that. Not be speak against anyone but whether or not her mother becomes very angry or not, I tell you to still attend her ceremony. She needs love and good upbringing and to not attend becuase of her mother will show that you do not care for hervery much!

[/quote]

They ARE attending the ceremony, it's the dinner afterward that they might skip depending on the mother's frame of mind.

If mom is on the verge of a meltdown, the OP might want to take the niece aside and tell her they will celebrate with a special day out, lunch or dinner, and avoid provoking her mother into behavior that will be even more embarrassing to her. Then they'll have a chance for a good conversation about what confirmation and living a Catholic life means, as well as letting the niece know the OP is there for her.


#11

Yes, thats a very good idea:). But I really do suggest that the OP should buy her the at least one of the Modern Saints books, by TAN books and publishers. Ive enclosed a link to buy the two books. If in some way the link is inaccesible, go to www.tanbooks.com and search Moern Saints. (tanbooks.com/index.php/Modern-Saints-Book-2). Especially the second book.

I mean, Theology of the Body, even if it is written for teenagers, well, it's boring (in non uncharitable way). I bet your fiancees cousin will not only be more happy with these books, but will recieve more spiritual nourishment from these books then from reading Theology of the Body. Everyone prefers reading the Lives of the Saints than reading the Imitation of Christ, I gurantee it!:D

And when I said to buy Modern Saints for her, I did not mean to buy the two books at once but one at a time. I highly suggest buying the second one first though: it's more enyoyable than the first one and goes into more detail in the Saints lives.


#12

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