Confirmation sponsors


Hi, I know in today’s world, many priests turn a blind eye to Godparents and sponsors because if they were strict, there wouldn’t be any, but I would like nice Catholic ones for my girls next year. The problem is I was a “revert” in my family a few years ago, but no one else really followed. My sisters are divorced and remarried, my brother and I aren’t close, my friends are Christian and Jewish but not Catholic. (or practicing Catholics) My husband converted before we married so his side is not Catholic. All the Catholics I know are remarried without an annulment but going to church or not good examples in other ways. My mom is 84 and could probably be a sponsor, but she wouldn’t be able to attend most of the meetings.
Anyone else have this problem? I switched churches 2 years ago, but don’t know anyone that well, just to say hello and chat for a moment. Thank you for any ideas.


In our parish, if the candidate can’t find a suitable sponsor, the youth minister will suggest someone from the parish.

My older daughter was a sponsor last year to a girl whose sponsor backed out before the program got started.


Depending on the age of your girls, a teacher in the school if they are in Catholic school, or a rel. ed. teacher if they attend religious ed., would be flattered if asked. And remember, in Confirmation, a man can sponsor a girl, and a woman a young man. It used to be same gender, but that has changed. And while they might each want their own sponsor, they could realistically share one.

PS: **All **Catholics should be going to Mass on Sunday, whether or not they are remarried. What they should not be doing is receiving the Eucharist if they have not gotten a decree of nullity and been duly married in the Church.


The girls’ Godparents are not available as Confirmation sponsors?


My sponsor was chosen for me because I was in the same situation. Actually, most of our group had sponsors given to them. Father just made a couple of announcements and put it in the bulletin that they needed some sponsors, and they found enough willing to be commited to it. I love my sponsor :slight_smile:


I will talk to the priest about it, but the parish is small right now. Their godparents were my sister who is not practicing and couldn’t get a “letter” if she needed one and my girlfriend who has the last 5 years of so, started to go to an Episcopal church because of problems she had with some of the Catholic teaching.

I don’t see the point as much for a sponser now as I do for baptism, but I don’t want to make a mockery of it either. I couldn’t afford Catholic school after 8th grade and their 8th grade teacher is doing the class. I think she will be occupied with the logistics of the mass I think and keeping everyone in their places.
We will see what happens, but I think nowadays it is more of a problem than it was years ago.


consider the parents of other candidates, and make an effort to get to know them. you will be attending the sessions together anyhow, your child probably already has friends in this group, and other contacts with them, school, sports etc. so that you are likely to maintain contact after confirmation, and in that setting it would not be inappropriate to ask if one of them would be willing and qualifies to serve as a sponsor. It is an honor to be asked.


Do contact your parish priest. Virtually all parishes with confirmation and RCIA programs have access to people who are pleased to sponsor those entering into the Church, or seeking confirmation.



PS: You mentioned your mother: The canons forbid parents to sponsor their children.


Also - ask the girls who they would want as a Sponsor, who do they look up, to whom would they go with a question about the Faith?


Me, me, me! (As I wave my hand high in the air). I’m going through this with my daughter right now, too. We have very few practising Catholics in our family, and I really want someone who will do their best to mentor her, and who takes religion seriously. I’ve decided to let Jesus choose her sponser (well, I’ll help a bit, too), but I have had lots of prayers via the rosary going up to heaven for a few weeks now.

Tell you what, I’ll pray for your daughter, and how about if you pray for mine. We’ll storm heaven for good sponsors for our daughters, ok?:slight_smile:


sigh I know how hard this can be. We just went through it.

We had to choose a confirmed, practicing Catholic over the age of 16. And of course, as the parents of the child in question, we could not be sponsors. That left ONE person! Her grandfather, who gladly took on the role, thank God.

However, even with him, we had to talk to the RE director about the irregular circumstances of his marriage. There was a priest present, but it took place in a Presbyterian church with their minister as well. They sort of “co-officiated.” My FIL’s dad was really worried at the time, as to whether the Catholic Church would recognize the marriage or consider it valid and sacramental. (As it is a Christian marriage, I am sure it is valid… sacramental I wonder about. I have no idea what the Presbyterians believe about that.) The end result was that he was allowed to be her sponsor because we had no other choice, and the marriage issue was not really looked into.

It really is so hard these days with fractured families, people who go to other churches, and people who just stop going to church at all. :frowning:

Our next challenge is godparents for the baby who is due Tuesday…


I wish I could reach through my computer screen and start choosing some of you to be my daughter’s mentor. :o There are many people here on CAF that would be wonderful sponsors. If only they lived in my corner of the world…


When my oldest was confirmed… he chose an adult family friend as his sponsor. When his brother was confirmed… the oldest was his sponsor. When dd’s turn came up… you got it ds#2 got to sponsor.

IMHO… this is a good reason to have many kids a year or 2 apart… well it worked for me anyway… The first one was the only one that we had to think about.


My oldest is happily sponsoring my #2. She has done a wonderful job of mirroring her faith and setting an example. :slight_smile:


I so wish my oldest son could be one of the girls sponsors, but he’s at college out of state and it’s on a Wednesday in April when he’s still at school (and in exams) : (

I agree with mommyof4, I wish I knew some of you…such a shortage of faithful nice Catholics in some areas. I will pray for your daughter and thank you for praying for mine…twins are a blessing but this one time it makes it harder, because I have to find two!
I mentioned my mom, Gerry, I think grandparents are okay, just not parents. Wish they didn’t change that rule.


As long as he is a practicing Catholic, Confirmed over age 16 - he does not have to be present at the Confirmation. He can sponsor by proxy.


Really?? I will have to look into that. Wouldn’t it seem odd for her not to have someone beside her? If she wouldn’t mind though, I know she’d love to have her brother. I will have to ask next meeting since things seem to differ a bit parish to parish.


She will have someone stand beside her - you could stand as proxy for the son, the Confirmation teacher, a spouse of one of the other sponsors could stand as proxy, pretty much anyone can stand as proxy. It is not that uncommon :slight_smile:


:eek: I spoke too soon, I got my sponsor switched on me. My original sponsor became unable to be really available because of her job and health, and there was someone who really wanted to sponsor, but they ran out of candidates, so she’s going to take over for my sponsor. I haven’t met her yet, but I am told she’s really great :smiley:


Good! I’m glad it is working out for all of you.

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