Confirmation

I am not sure if this is where I am to ask this, but I am going to start here.
My son is going through the RCIA. He is actually doing this because we have been out of the Church for quite a long time and have recently just returned and he needs confirmed. He is a teen and this is what was suggested to us by the parish for confirmation. It is working out great and I have no problems there.
My question is, lately I have been told I need to have a party afterward, though, I don’t remember one when I was confirmed but that was a long time ago. So, I am wondering if this is true or is it because of the party rage our culture is into today. I have gifts for him myself and was planning something for ourselves. I don’t mind having something, I just don’t know what you’re supposed to have. Are you to invite all of your family and in-laws. Which, actually, brings up another issue. Not everyone in my family is, or still is, Catholic. Should it just be Catholic relatives?
He will be confirmed at the Easter vigil. The next day is Easter, and alot of family are going to be doing their own Easter thing. Is it wrong to wait and have the party after a couple weeks, maybe after school is out have something in the summer. My other thing is my family is big and my house is small, that is why I thought a summer bbque but I am not sure if that is late. And like I said not all of my family are even Catholic. I would appreciate any ideas that people have done to celebrate their son’s confirmation.

There’s no right or wrong. Do what you want.

Have a party or don’t. Go out to lunch afterwards as a family or don’t. Do it that night or a few weeks later.

Invite whomever you would like and whoever would mean something to your son. Certainly it is customary to invite family & friends to witness sacraments like baptisms, confirmations, first holy communion, etc., but you don’t have to.

Don’t worry about what other people do. Ask you son what he’d like to do.

At our Easter Vigil, there is a reception after the Vigil.
This is a welcoming and especially if it has run a long time - you need to eat!
Now, as to your son, if you never had a confirmation party when you were young (not a tradition in your family), I would say skip unless you want to.

BTW, you may want to get with others in the parish and see how normally your Easter Vigil runs. I was at one that ran till almost midnight - a lot coming in.
BUT at the parish we are at, we are usually out by 9 pm.
It is a beautiful Mass also. Why not invite family that can come to the Vigil and see if they are having a reception and stay for that?

Also, here at least, if he were in the Confirmation class with the parish, there is usually a reception after wards at the parish. I have never given our children a special party or anything like it-just gifts. If you have out of town guests, or a lot coming (during the day) you may want to cook something at your house. But that doesn’t seem to be case as it will be very late after the Vigil. Or it usually is.

It is the party rage, your correct. There is no protocol, it is up to you. My opinion is a party reduces the significance of the sacrament.
I would take him to the homeless shelter and serve people all day. That is walking the talk, which he will have just “confirmed” to do.

told by whom? there is absolutely nothing in the rites of the Church that dictate such a party. This is more of a family or cultural thing. Do what you think is appropriate for your own family’s situation, and take your son’s preference into account.

I strongly urge all our families who are participating in the Easter Vigil NOT to celebrate immediately after. It is a long Mass, and tiring and draining physically, emotionally and spiritually. the thing candidates need more than anything afterward is rest and quiet reflection, not loud parties. I would advise doing whatever your normal Easter dinner plans would be with a special cake or something to mark your son’s milestone. If he would prefer a party with his own friends later in the week you can do that but there is no reason in any Church teaching other than of course to acknowledge that he has had an important experience that deserves commemoration.

Parishes here sometimes have a reception after the Vigil, but we don’t, for the reasons I have stated, everyone is too drained. We do have a social event to introduce the neophytes and newly confirmed to the parish the following weekend.

For our teen confirmations, the families usually don’t stay for any kind of reception so we stopped doing it, as most families prefer to have their own party, or just go out to dinner.

I normally suggest a Missal as a good gift, but I would wait until perhaps graduation or whenever the new translation is published. a good student bible, if he has not already been given one, is my next choice.

Likewise. We have a reception after Easter Vigil. I don’t think I would be too concerned about a party. I came into the Church in 2007. For me, the Mass was the celebration. The reception was nice, but anticlimactic to the Mass itself. Easter Sunday morning Mass was awesome. You could just incorporate a ‘party’ in your family’s traditional Easter activities. I wouldn’t agonize over it, though.

Congratulations!

Is your son baptized Catholic? If so, he shouldn’t be going through RCIA.

As others have said, whether or not you have a party (or whatever you do outside the liturgical sacramental celebration) is entirely up to you.

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