i’m in the r.c.i.a. classes in my parrish. i wont be able to be comfirmed because my husband is not catholic and has no intention of becoming a catholic . He won’t even speak with the sister or the priest at my parrish. i love going to these classes and i love going to mass. i feel like I’ve come home. Is the reason why i can’t be comfirmed because of my marriage not being a spiritual marriage?Is it a preist decision or is it a church decision?

I assume you mean that you are already baptized and someone is telling you that your husband is a reason that you cannot be received into the Church? That doesn’t sound right to me. Yes, you ought to ask the pastor of this parish to explain this to you. If it still doesn’t sound right to you, you can contact the chancery office (the bishop’s administrative office; sometimes it is called something like the pastoral center) for further explanation.

Is there some difficulty with your marriage, as in, were either of you married previously? Generally, it is not necessary for both spouses to convert, but if you are living in an invalid marriage … that is a problem.

There are usually one of two problems:

  1. One spouse is a non-practicing Catholic, and you were married outside the Catholic Church. In this case, you’d need to have your marriage convalidated/blessed in the Catholic Church.

  2. One spouse was previously married in a valid marriage (either a Catholic married in the Catholic Church or non-Catholics outside of the Catholic Church) and was never granted an annulment. In this case, you are living in adultery in the eyes of the Church and have to live as brother and sister until an annulment is granted.

there is no requirement that your husband convert in order for you to enter the Church. This is not an impediment to confirmation

You need to make an appointment and speak directly with your pastor-- NOT the sister or other RCIA coordinators, they have no authority here. Talk to the pastor and get an explanation of what the problem is and what the solutions are. Unless there is more to the story, there is no reason you cannot be confirmed.

If neither of you were previously married nor Catholic at the time of your wedding, you are validly married. If you are both baptized, it is a sacrament. If one or both of you is unbaptized it is called a natural marriage-- but still perfectly valid.

If there is a prior marriage in your past or his, then that would be the root of the problem. You need to discuss options with your priest because there are many avenues to resolution depending on a lot of factors.

The priest must follow canon law, which you have rights under. The decision cannot be arbitrary, if that is what you are asking. There has to be a valid reason.

Go talk to your pastor.

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