Conflict between parishioners

Sit in a different pew…

A priest once told me to ignore it if anyone complained about children. Jesus said suffer the little children and come to me. God gave you that child, and you can take your child to Church every day (if you can and want to) to give thanks to and honor God.


Why is that? The Church does not expect children to attend when they are very young. Why can’t you leave him home with your husband? Mass should not have to be such a struggle. If he isnt attending mass, your husband should be watching his son.

But that will mean that he will have to miss mass.

Until recently he goes to mass.

Your son or your husband misses mass? I am sorry, I don’t understand. I thought you were alone with your children at mass.

My son comes to mass.

It’s only for three consecutives weeks that my husband had missed mass. I truly hope he will come back soon.

Well until he does, let him watch your son.

You cannot have a good experience if you are having to scramble around after your son. You cannot pay attention to mass. Let your husband watch him, or he could come to mass with you and handle your son there. Sometimes sons respond better to their dads.

The way we trained our kids were not to bring them outside, but to tell them that they can sit through the next mass until they got it right. ( age around 4)

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It seems a lot for me to except a toddler to sit for almost an hour. Unless he is confortable on his parent’s knees which is not the case for our child.

I am happy that you succeeded in your training.


Yes Anicette each child is different. That worked on my oler kids.

My spitfire youngest would crawl under each perhaps 5 pews and i acually had another mom be grateful about it. She could not understand why my older kids behaved…lol. this one was a pip at mass.

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Shes still has a very healthy spirit and attitude in all things but is My Holiest child at 14. :).

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blessed she is!

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Thank you. So are yours.

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@Anicette You came to mind during Mass tonight - I said a prayer for you and your situation.


Thanks you @Dlee!

for updates, this sunday I have gone to mass with my son only (the other child was ill). I have gone to another parish where the church is bigger, to avoid conflict and have more space.

My priority was to focus to set limits to my children. He was not allowed to “speak” loud, to run, to walk without taking my hand. It worked. But I didn’t success in preventing him to overturn the kids’s chairs.
I treated him like a baby and I am not sure that he appreciated. It had to catch and contain him several times (more or less softly) and prevent him to hurt his head.

We sat on the floor on the back of the church where we can see or heard nothing. He was quiet for maybe 10 minutes. After, he was tired so he try to be active.

To conclude, I don’t annoyed anyone, but it’s a work in itself. I don’t think we both found that fulfilling on the moment.

I am afraid that mass will not turn to be a good experience for himself.

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I really think it will get better as he gets a little older.


thanks you.

I would like that the parishes re established the little roles they offered for children during mass, such as during the procession of offerings. He will not be too little, and it will occupy him positively.

I am very sad that my parish don’t have any altar boys. It would like to see him serving in some years. Boys are often actives, mass can be too long or boring for them, so it can grow some interest for mass and serving God in them and develop some skills such as patience.
That’s how I see it.

Well, I am not sure I would agree!
Just for that i wonder if switching parishes at a time or another would be something to consider…

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I’m glad you tried - and I do think it will get better as he gets older. He is (as we all are) a unique creation of God - I pray that those around you at Mass will recognize that and not be judgmental.

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