So I've been confused about my vocation for some time now, if you could give me some advice, it would be much appreciated!
Right now I'm a junior in college. I really love my major and currently have a pretty good internship that I really enjoy. God has blessed me so much.
The thing that is confusing me is that lately, I've felt a calling to join the convent. My whole life, I've really wanted to be a mother and have so many children that I have to drive around a bus to get anywhere. But I think God has been asking me, especially in these past couple of days, whether I would give that all up for Him. And the answer is yes. I've always had these unrealistic expectations of what a man should be, and obviously, Jesus is definition of the perfect spouse, and I can't see myself being any happier than being married to Jesus.
And then...there's a boy. He's in my ministry and he's one of my best friends. We text and chat on facebook almost every day. Also this semester, somehow we ended up taking 2 classes together without planning it, so we see each other every day. The thing is that he is discerning the priesthood. I haven't ever thought of him romantically until recently, like within the past couple of months. What made me realize that I liked him was when he left for a priest discernment retreat, I cried all the way back home. I was really sad because I thought he would come back with a vocation to join the seminary and I would end up alone. He didn't and I felt really guilty for being sad because I know that the Church is in dire need for good priests. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't know if he feels the same way and I don't want to mess up what we have. Also, he's the man so I feel like he should be the one to make the first move. Also also, I don't want to be a distraction from both of our discernments.
I feel really confused and pulled in so many directions right now. I feel that my vocation could be to be a nun, but I also feel that I could be a mother working in the secular workplace. I've been praying for my vocation for so long, but I feel more confused than ever. I just don't know. I need some advice here (a dude's advice would be much appreciated).