Hello. After dating the traditional way and ending up in a string of dead-end situations, I finally swallowed my pride and joined Catholic Match. The second guy I met on Catholic Match was quite the catch for me in terms of intellectual and artistic endeavors. He also struggled with a lot of the same issues as me. I felt comfortable with him rather quickly, and I was attracted to his personality a lot. I tried to not fall too quickly, but it seems that I did fall quickly for him. In the three months we knew each other, I prayed a lot to ask God whether I should pursue him. I was filled with a great deal of comfort in my decision to take a leap of faith in him, but last week he tells me he does not see us as being more than just friends, and today he tells me he met someone last week and it is going well.
I was gracious when I said goodbye, but I am reeling from it now. He was the first man I liked immensely in years (I am REALLY picky and cautious under normal circumstances due to a bad history). I did not give him my heart, but I wanted a relationship to get off of the ground, and the idea of making room for him in my heart had brought me great joy.
I am more confused about God’s role in this. I felt so many assurances in prayer that pursuing this was the course of action to take. I know my gracious goodbye was a sign that I have healed from past hurt greatly, but it still hurts, and I am wondering what this means for my vocation. Was I meant to be hurt to pursue another vocation? What good am I to God and His almighty plan when my heart is wrung out like this? Can someone help me make sense of this? I thought that by joining Catholic Match, I would letting good into my life. I thought that by meeting a man that I finally clicked with, God was finally bringing me something good in my life. Was I wrong? What do I do now? I am trying to trust God, and I do still love God. I am just so sad and confused.