Confused about when to confess my sin


The pastor at my local parish told me a couple of months ago that he would not mind being my constant personal confessor so long as I recognize that he might not always be available at the drop of a hat due to his busy schedule. I, of course, told him that I understood. Now, for the past several weeks I’ve gone to confession having to confess to the other available priest due to the urgency of needed confession.

Once again I am in mortal sin, and I prayed to Jesus asking him to forgive me and to give me the grace to make it to the next available confession – however, my soul is yearning to confess to my pastor, the one who said I could meet with him should he be available, and he isn’t available until tomorrow (Thursday) morning which is actually the day after the next available confession (which is today, actually), where the other available priest will likely present, as usual.

If I do not go to the next available confession today, will I be lying to Jesus? Will I be pressing my luck with his grace? I do want to confess my sin, but, again, I just really want it to be with my pastor who I trust, respect, and who has helped me so many times before.


I would say that for a priest to offer to be your regular confessor is something not to be taken lightly. If you have agreed to this arrangement, stick with him. When you come to confesson to him on Thursday, explain your concern and ask his advice. Then do whatever he tells you.


See if you can arrange with him, but if you are in mortal sin what matters isn’t the pastor and how kind and understanding he is, that’s irrelevant regarding the mortal sin. The important thing is to confess, gain absolution and resolve not to sin, and put yourself once again in the state of grace before God.

It isn’t your soul that is yearning for your preferred pastor in this instance, but in fact your personal preference. Desire God’s grace and spirit in your soul…and be happy to see your preferred pastor at a more convenient time. It is the Sacrament that matters, not who this priest is if you are in mortal sin as you say.

I am glad for you that you have a pastor who has your confidence and trust. I’m sure he will be available to guide you at those times that God wills and knows will be specifically beneficial.

God bless and give you peace.
Warm regards, Trishie


Can a good-hearted Catholic really be in mortal sin that much? One that is so eager to be good and get to confession ASAP? Or could one be a little hard on oneself for choices made that truly weren’t fully deliberate?


I think we can read between the lines here. I agree with you.

When a person with such a willing heart has a relationship with a confessor, that confessor knows the spectrum of sin the person generally struggles with (and we all have our particular seam of weakness), and can advise whether that person needs to confess instanter or whether the general disposition of the heart allows for holding off until the confessor is available. The OP should discuss this with the priest.


I’ve prayed about this very thing since falling into sin. It’s just that (and I don’t want to do injustice to the other priest) I have never felt like I could make a good confession to anyone but my pastor. I have tried – trust me, I have tried – but with the other priests at my parish, in some cases, I feel rushed, I get interrupted, I feel nervous, etc. Sometimes I’m not even given a penance, so I have say a series of Our Fathers and Hail Marys to make up. And I feel horrible for saying that because I understand that all of God’s priests are in persona Christi and that it is the sacrament not the person who matters, but I more often than not feel so irresolute when I confess to anyone but my pastor.


The way I would handle it, were I in your position, is that I would be moved by my sense of urgency first. If I felt urgent about the need for confession, I would follow that impulse, and go a.s.a.p. I agree with the poster who advised not to take being a confessor lightly, but that very fact I would discuss with this confessor. No sincere confessor would want the relationship with him preferred to your state of grace. But I would mention this to him: “I felt that the urgency could not wait; I would have preferred to wait until today, but I needed to return to my intimacy with God & knew I was in mortal sin.” The confessor, in a general way, is still your confessor. You are confessing in his presence, after the fact, what you confessed to the available alternate priest, & have him further guide you as to the issue of urgency in the future.

This is just the way I would handle it. I don’t know what feels comfortable for you, but again, no other relationship should supersede that of the individual + God. JMHO. :slight_smile:


I believe this is sound advice for THIS occasion. But after he has discussed it with the priest who has agreed to be his confessor, he should stick with that person. He will give the guidance required.


I hadn’t checked back, but acknowledge respectfully what you write. I’m glad that, barring emergencies when your confessor isn’t available, that you have been given a pastor who is a true shepherd of souls.

God’s kindest blessings…Trishie


:confused: I find this very strange. I’m sorry. I would think that an emergency confession would only be needed if one was about to die, go into an emergency surgery, etc. I personally wouldn’t call my priest out for my emergency confession because the Church says that if you have in your heart the intention to confess the next time, then you are okay…



That’s sort of what I have been trying to convey all along this thread.


This advice is probably coming a little late now, huh? And it echoes what some others have said. But I think that if you are certain of being in mortal sin that you should confess at the next avail. opportunity, even if it is with the priest you do not prefer. As another poster said…THIS time.

But then you should meet with the priest who has offered to be your regular confessor as soon as possible to discuss this situation, preferably BEFORE you need to make another confession, even if that means making a separate appointment specifically for the purpose of discussing this with him. Otherwise you will probably find yourself in the same situation, repeatedly, and torment yourself over it. You really don’t need that. It’s not going to help you in the least. You might also bring up at that time the particular sins that keep causing you to fall and receive more in-depth advice that the more limited time in the confessional may not permit.

Just my two cents’. I’ll say a prayer for your peace of mind and discernment.


Your two cents seems right on the money. If the OP is constantly falling into the same sin and just keeps confessing and repeating then a bit more than simply confession is needed. The root of the problem needs to be worked out so that the sin is not repeated that often.


Ditto all of the above.


Ditto, from me, too.


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