Confused and Concerned - HELP!


I have recently returned to my faith as a Catholic. I am having trouble adjusting and relearning. It has been several years since I’ve considered myself an active Catholic, although even though I didn’t attend church I still considered myself to be Catholic.

I keep thinking about the catholic religion and then about my daily life…or really my weekend life. Everything I do goes against what is right with the church, I want to live a good life as a Christian, but then again I do not want to give up partying. Drinking and pre-marital sex. I know these are sins but I struggle with doing the right thing.

I also want to learn more about the faith but I don’t see how that’s going to happen by just going to Sunday mass.

Can someone please help?


Maybe look into reading about some of the saints, especially those who left past lives of immorality to follow Christ. St. Augustines - Confessions is a good book.

Daily prayer will also help.

And maybe make a list of your priorities. Is a relationship with the creator more important than drinking to the excess?

We have to be the first ones to seek change in our lives. If the temptations to sin become too great for us we should also remove the source of those temptations if possible.

You’ll be in my prayers.

You may also be interested in some of the Faith Tracts here on the Catholic Answers website to learn more about the faith.


“littleone” First, I’d like to say WELCOME HOME! :hug1: and Praise God!

I know it can be difficult to readjust. I was away from the Church myself, for over 10 years; and returned a bit over 4 years ago. The major “surprises” I had weren’t with the Mass, or the Sacraments. But with some of the other changes… which took place in my absence. Such as… church kneelers being removed… and everyone standing for Holy Communion. I’m still having difficulty with that one. :frowning: And the enormous use of Extraordinary Ministers, during Mass… (due to the priest shortage).

I had a bit of difficulty, too… in remembering the different parts of the Mass. So… I bought a Sunday Missal and followed along, until I re-familiarized myself with the structure of the Mass. The Missal was (and still is) a very big help.

As far as your desire to “clean-up” your social life… :wink: ; I would suggest to you, dear soul… that you might check with your parish office for a list of parish activities/ministries. You don’t mention your age… but I’m assuming since you’re unmarried, that you might be in your 20’s or 30’s? I’m sure that there are groups and ministries in your parish… which would be very enjoyable to you. And you’ll meet lots of new people, too!

You might also want to take a peek at this site. It may be helpful to you. God bless you!


Of course it’s difficult to make an adjustment.

And you’re absolutely right - if you ‘just’ go to Sunday Mass then of course it’s not going to bring Christ into the rest of your life!

Daily prayer is an absolute must. Doesn’t have to be formal prayer, just start by spending five or ten minutes talking with the Lord when you wake up and another five or ten before you go to sleep.

So is frequent (even weekly) confession, especially in helping to root out those habitual sins.

It’s a good idea for you to try to get a handle on WHY the Church teaches as it does, for example why it teaches that certain things are sins. As a starting point, you may wish to try reading the Compendium to the Catechism, or the Catechism itself.

And remember drinking is something that harms you physically regardless of the spiritual consequences. And there is help out there for you, and not just in church! Get to an AA meeting or some other alcohol counselling, pronto.


Welcome Home! You might find it useful to attend the RCIA program in your parish. You will find a variety of people in different stages of their Catholic journey and team members standing by to answers questions and help you all through the process. Just give the parish office a call and they will be glad to hook you up!


My friend was in very similar situation - he was drawn back to the Catholic Church, but was struggling with drinking and premarital sex (+masturbation). He was fighting this by frequent confession, and now after approx. two years, he is happily engaged. And, as our Lord is great, he and his fiance are giving talks and testifying to young people about living in chastity before marriage.

God bless you on your path to him!


My dear friend

When we sin we are searching for God. only God can satisfy the yearnings in your heart and soul. This can only be done totally in heaven but we get a sample here. Perhaps the knowledge that sin does not really satisfy you will help. If you look for happiness in sin you will never be satisfied and happy. true sin can bring temporary pleasure or joy but this is false pleasure and joy and very temporary. After sin if we know what we’ve done we feel dirty and horrible because we know we’ve squandered eternity for a quick thrill. Your sins of drinking and impurity may be addictions in which case you may not have sinned if you returned very recently. you must still try to stop. It’s probably the best idea to ask your confessor about the guilt and for advice here as to how long you have to sort yourself out. Maybe read up on the theology of the body to help overcome impurity and try not to drink too much. Try not to be too down on yourself. Try to pray the rosary daily no matter how you feel or are going. Keep asking God and your Blessed mother for help. Just do your best and struggle. Never give up and God will help you and all will be well. You’ll get to heaven. We don’t get heaven here. It comes later if we persevere and keep struggling. This life is a test. Hang in there mate.

God bless you and I’ll pray for you:thumbsup::slight_smile:


Ask Jesus to help you each day, and He will.


Thank you all for your words of encouragement!! I feel I have alot to work through yet, but I know in the end God really does have a plan for me.


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