Confused & Doubtful about a Religious


#1

I have to admit I’m very confused lately a good (elderly) friend of mine who also happens to be a Religious he has been sending me questionable materials. He has sent me several Catholic chain letters.

I know he means well by sending these well wishes and I’m not trying to make a mountain out of mole hill. I’ve also questioned him on that matter and he got upset with me. Asking me questions like, “Don’t you believe in the communion of Saints?”

He also sends me emails that have not been approved by the Catholic Church, Vatican, and so forth…

Our Lady of Garabandal

garabandal.org/

carmenhumprey.org

Carmen Humprey happens to be related to him. Personally, I think she has an amazing story but what struck me is she has a picture of Our Lady of Peace (aka Medjugorie Mary) on here website which has not been approved by the Church.

I also have another person who emails me questionable material and he happens to be a Religious also. He has sent me pictures of naked people or 1/2 dressed and he once sent me a “DATING” website. I had to look three times just to see if that was actually him that sent that to me and yes I questioned him about that. :eek:

So, I guess this is my question: Is it O.K. to be doubtful even a Religious?
How would you feel if a Religious sent you materials that made you feel uncomfortable? Would you confront him or her? If so, how?

God bless,
goforgoal


#2

Sadly, many religious have lost their faith these days. This should not make us cynical or bitter – but only cautious. It is a tragic fact - many are caught in the apostasy of our times. Those consecrated to purity and celibacy play around with sinful things – some fall much worse than that, as we know. Seek out only faithful, orthodox, pure religious. We’re not here to judge anyone, but by their fruits you will know them.

How would you feel if a Religious sent you materials that made you feel uncomfortable? Would you confront him or her? If so, how?

Confronting the person may be the very best thing you could do – it could be a matter of salvation for the person. They need to be corrected and sadly, their own superiors and bishops will not do it. Thus, often, we have to make it known courteously, that they’re on the wrong path.

Personally, I would not associate with a religious who sent “dating” pictures like that.


#3

“goforgoal” In the case of the elderly Religious… would it be possible that he is suffering from age related dementia? This could effect his reason and his judgment. I think that, in his case… I would simply disregard anything that he sends… chalk it up to age… and pray for him.

You don’t mention the age of the other friend, also a Religious. But I would be offended by ANYONE sending me pictures of naked or half dressed people. Being that he is a Religious just makes it all the more tragic. Have you questioned him as to why he sent those pictures to you? What was his reasoning for doing such a thing?

I wouldn’t hesitate to ask him to stop… because this is an offense to your modesty. He’s a grown-up AND a Religious, and so should be able to “reason” why his actions are inappropriate. And do keep him in your prayers. You might also wish to see if your diocese has an “abuse” hotline. Ours does. We can report any such abuses to the Archbishops office.

God bless you, dear soul.


#4

I completely agree with what the others have written. Don’t hesitate and talk to your friends about it. It’s ok that youfeel uneasy about it if it offends you or isn’t “kosher” Christian.


#5

my standard reply to such emails is to say “I do not open links to sites nor do I open email with FWD unless it is in reply to something I have specifically asked for. please do not put me on your Forward list, and please do not send information from third parties which I have not asked for. Those messages will be deleted without opening and with no reply” I also ask them to take me off that long list of email addresses they have sent their message to and not to share my email address without my permission. If they persist I block them with my spam tool.

I also have another person who emails me questionable material and he happens to be a Religious also. He has sent me pictures of naked people or 1/2 dressed and he once sent me a “DATING” website. I had to look three times just to see if that was actually him that sent that to me and yes I questioned him about that

this is against all ethical conduct guidelines adopted by dioceses and religious orders and should be reported to his bishop or religious superior at once, and it may also be illegal. you should have no further correspondence or contact with this individual in any way shape or form, nor should you open any email on any topic from him. if you are a minor this is certainly illegal and you should also inform your parents.


#6

Let us not get too bogged down by these things. Pray for these Religious; Satan’s attacks against them are greater because of their state in life. As for us, thank God for the gift of discernment and redouble our efforts to practice approved methods of spirituality such as the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.


#7

:thumbsup::thumbsup:


#8

This is really very simple. Every religious has a superior. If the material is morally objectionable, forward it to the superior with a polite letter.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF :slight_smile:


#9

I thank God for each and everyone who responded to my recent thread.

reggieM- He did not send me Dating pictures just a website on Dating. When I confronted him I basically stated, “Did you send me this website?” <–I asked because I thought it was spam and he answered, “Yes.” Then I emailed him back saying, “I thought (insert religious life) were not supposed to do that.” <–I thought maybe he would’ve emailed me back saying, “I’m on there for religious matters…To offer my advice and so forth.” <–I probably would’ve understood.

MarieVeronia- I sometimes wonder about that also if he has age-related dementia? He doesn’t remember a lot of people. My mom worked along side with him for several years and he doesn’t remember my mom or several of my family members. I noticed in some of his emails he is angry (or at least that what it seems like to me). That is how my Grandmother was when she was first diagnosed with dementia.

Yes, the other Religious is younger I would say he is most likely in his 40’s-50’s not too sure.

indijanka- I have discussed matters over with a few family members and trusted friends.

puzzleannie-Thank you for your advice, I think I’ll send a similar email to both of them.

bcuster-I agree.

JReducation-Thank you for the advice.

I’m not really sure if I want to write a letter to their superiors or report them to an “abuse hotline.”

However, I do offer them my Prayers and support. It makes me wonder do Religious truly live up/out their vows?

Another thing, I was going to ask is it wrong of me to question such materials like Our Lady of Garabandal, Our Lady of Peace (Medjugorie), and Carmen Humphrey’s? or should I be more open-minded?

I Pray for all Religious who have Fallen away or who have fallen in traps of evilness (even if they do not realize it)…I ask each and everyone of you to Pray for them or any Religious that you know that has Fallen away.

Jesus said this, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34


#10

It does not sound to me as if the first religious, the older one, is derailed. From the little info that you have provided, it sounds as if he may need some help. It would be good for his superior to know. Religious communities are responsible for procuring help for our older brothers or sisters who are beginning to lose it. But we can’t do that, if we don’t know the severity. We may provide assistance with physical activities, because they are not as agile as they once were, but not know that they are doing inappropriate things outside the religious house.

You said that the second religious is middle age. I believe that you said he sent you porn. If that’s the case, his superior needs to know about it. He may have a sexual problem that needs attention or he may be derailing. In any case, his superior has the responsibility to find him help.

I know about this because right now I’m still up. We have a brother who has breathing problems. We take turns spending the night up so that someone can come to his rescue if his breathing stops in the middle of the night. Superiors make arrangements to care for their own, if they know what to look for and what to address.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF :slight_smile:


#11

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.