Confused, First time on


#1

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O.K. If I am in the right place and posting my message properly, I have a very serious problem and need (private) Q and A here.

Perhaps there’s a phone number where I can call someone. Maybe Carl Keating, James Akin. Actually I should not be so selective as I don’t know any one on Catholic Answers except from your writings.

I need help with an argument with my Son who has left the church and has become, I suspect, a Fundamentalist. More than that I’m told a Fundamentalist Preacher. I need to be able to communicate with him, eMail, and try to debate some issues with him.

First: I asked him "What ever happened to “Honor your Father and Mother”. His reply, “The father should not antagonize the children”.

If I could take the time I might be able to search for a scriptural response but I’m not that well read of the scriptures.

I need a hand holding apologist to help me with this issue.

Any help?

Hopefully

Gary Anderson


#2

Hi Garya…welcome to CAF :tiphat:

Your post sounds like your panicking …1st thing is to calm down 2nd pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance and the words needed to speak to your son.
Know this… a verse in the bible is not always going to work instantly and if your son is willing to leave the faith for another well hes going to regardless what you tell him at this time.

Does your son live with you or is he grown and living on his own? That piece of information is important and the other would be if you sir are and have been leading a catholic life… ?..no disrespect intended
I haven’t been here as long as some but Im not too convinced that one of the experts will call you. But don’t lose hope …theres always a good confessor (priest) that you can probably reach out to.
I hope I haven’t discouraged you… :o


#3

Gary:

Although you want immediate results, this will probably not happen. Your best bet is to step back and pray for guidance in this. There is a very good book called Search and Rescue: How to Bring Your Family and Friends Into, or Back Into, the Catholic Church by Patrick Madrid. It gives a step by step ways of accomplishing what you are trying to do. The biggest suggestion Madrid has is to listen, for only then can you try to find a solution. Forcing the issue will not bring him back to the Church, it will only push him further away.

PF


#4

Well, I guess this is not exactly like email. Like a chat room I guess except I don’t expect to find someone on at the same time as I am.

Thanks for the response to my message. Sorry to give the wrong impression. 1. I am not panicked. 2. Yes I am a practicing Catholic, 4th Degree Knight. Of course prayer is my strongest avenue and talking to my priest may help. I just thought one of you Gurus would have suitable responses. I have many of your books but not memorized.

No My son does not live with us. He is a grown man, thrice married and that’s the heart of the problem. Having painted himself into a corner he’s ripe for picking by anyone with answers that will convince him that he’s O.K. with God and now with some Fundamentalists it’s guaranteed.

Thanks for the suggestions

God Bless and
Merry Christmas to all

Gary


#5

on the homepage is contact info for Karl etc. you can also post specific questions in the Ask and Apologist forum.

your Christmas present to yourself should be Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid. Please read it before you have another conversation with your son on this.

Children often turn against their childhood religion for one of two reasons: genuine conversion through contact with the new religion, its teachings and adherents; or rebellion against the parents and all that they believe and stand for. If you suspect the latter in your family, spend your efforts on mending the family relationships, not on proselytizing.


#6

[quote=Garya]Well, I guess this is not exactly like email. Like a chat room I guess except I don’t expect to find someone on at the same time as I am.

Thanks for the response to my message. Sorry to give the wrong impression. 1. I am not panicked. 2. Yes I am a practicing Catholic, 4th Degree Knight. Of course prayer is my strongest avenue and talking to my priest may help. I just thought one of you Gurus would have suitable responses. I have many of your books but not memorized.

No My son does not live with us. He is a grown man, thrice married and that’s the heart of the problem. Having painted himself into a corner he’s ripe for picking by anyone with answers that will convince him that he’s O.K. with God and now with some Fundamentalists it’s guaranteed.

Thanks for the suggestions

God Bless and
Merry Christmas to all

Gary
[/quote]

As a 4th Degree Knight, I would think you would have a lot of friends who are in the same boat as yourself. Maybe you could all hold each others’ hands while you pursue some of the opportunities others have mentioned here. Patrick Madrid does “Search and Rescue” seminars. I’m trying to get my deanery to sponsor one . . . This could actually open doors for you.

Meanwhile: you will not argue your son back into the Church. But DO get yourself ready to answer the standard Fundamentalist challenges to the Church.

You might also spend an hour every week with the Blessed Sacrament praying for this serious intention.

Buy a copy of Karl Keating’s Catholicism and Fundamentalism. It’s the best shortcut I know to answering the common objections Fundamentalists raise against the faith. (I bought the tape set and listened to it during my commute.)


#7

Gary, I can offer some solace to you. I am 53 and 30 years ago I left the Catholic church. I attended a Catholic high school and even married my high school sweetie. He molested our daughter, among other things, and we divorced. One early afternnoon my toddler and I stopped in at the church. She opened the big door, said “Mom! There’s Jesus!” and took off running down the aisle. Only 2 women were in the church at the time and one of them turned around and scowled at me. Hmmm…maybe it’s time to leave…not long after that I answered the phone and it was a wrong number. But the caller asked if she could talk to me instead of the person she was trying to reach. It was someone from Campus Crusade for Christ. She came over, invited me to church and that was it. I found what I could not get at the parish church I had been going to. So, for the next 30 years, we essentially rode the circuit. Baptist, Pentecostal, Methodist, Church of God, Assembly of God, non-denominational, missionary…I learned a great deal. I can quote scriptures, I know how to read my Bible. But in the end, I came back to the church of my youth. Why? Well, there’s something missing in those other churches. No reverence, no feeling of being in God’s house. Church isn’t an auditorium with stadium seating. A church service that lasts 3 hours is toooo long. Getting up to eat and drink during the service makes it a social occasion. It just isn’t the same, and after awhile, I wanted ‘real’ church again. A friend of mine told me that she had just the scripture for me: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. She said, “You’ll never leave.” Right she is. Let your son go explore. God is with him and he can reach your son in ways you cannot. You may say something and be totally ignored. Resented. Let God deal with him. Fundamentalists are sometimes mean and tough, but you can cover him with your prayers and he’ll still be ok. All my friends are non-catholics. I do not allow catholic bashing and I also will not allow bashing in reverse. My advice to you is to not do anything at all. Let him come to you. I have a friend who is vehemently anti-Catholic and her constant nagging has caused a cooling of the friendship. She can’t change my mind and I have no desire to change hers. One other thing: the professions of the non-catholic preachers I have known were: a/c repairman & salesman, one lounge singer, one rock singer, and a construction worker. I can’t remember the others right now. If you put any one of them in a room with my priest and have a debate, guess who’s gonna win? No contest. My priest will win. That’s comforting to me. Keep us posted. I’m interested to hear the outcome of your story.

Blessings.


#8

Dear Wacky & Wonderful

Thanks for the input. Yes, I agree with your analysis. Jesus Christ is the only help realy available to me, he just doesn’t respond to my email as quickly as I’d like. Our story is a long one that I’m not ready to put out to the public just yet.d I first have to have a conference with our Parish Priest.
Thanks for your concerns and advice.
God Bless
Gary


#9

Gary,

I have a sister that left the Catholic Church and has debated me several times on our faith. It is hard when they throw a verse at you and you don’t know how to answer it. And when you do have a valid point-they have an answer to everything-believe me! I agree with everyone else on here that you can only pray for them and hope they realize something is missing and return. Don’t bring it up to them but also don’t back down if they do. READ, READ, READ so you know your faith. (That’s always a good thing anyway.) A good book I have found is Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic by David Currie. (Ignatius Press) I actually have to thank my sister because she made me really learn about my faith.

Good luck!
Sandi


#10

Karl Keating has a great book out too about Fundamentalism and Catholicism. It helps to be ‘well armed’ with facts about our faith. I have found, the hard way, that the more I know the more I love being a Catholic. The more I LOVE, the more I glow with that love and you know what? When it all is said and done, love is awfully difficult to resist…:dancing:


#11

Thank you all for your input.
Sincerely

Gary
:slight_smile:


#12

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