[quote="LotusCarsLtd, post:1, topic:195052"]
I feel bad when I am around them sometimes because they are so outgoing and happy whereas I have always been more shy, introverted, and quiet. And yet, oddly enough, I am very loud and boisterous when I am around people I am good friends with.
I don't know what's wrong here. I know I must be doing something wrong but I can't pinpoint it at all. What should I do?
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Maybe you just need more time to warm up to new people. This is where you need your friends to help you, or find an environment where you 'thrive' and can be very open. For example, some people are quite shy in new environments, but get them leading an activity they are very good at and they are all of a sudden super social and confident.
If you have friends who are more social than you, have them introduce you, use them to break the ice for you. Or have them invite people out to follow up gatherings that you can attend. Eventually you'll warm up to the new people and feel more confident. Think back to your current friends who you are 'loud' with...it wasn't always that way. Things take time.
Some people are introverts and some people aren't...being an introvert isn't a bad thing. Lots of extroverts like introverts because it balances them out (and vice versa).
[quote="SarahR, post:4, topic:195052"]
May I ask, what do you think is so intimidating about young women? I coughcough *used to coughcough* be one, and we're just not that amazing as to be intimidating, to tell you the truth :p.
I, too have different groups of friends that reflect different facets of who I am & my interests. I have mommy-friends (we talk about our kids and school), religious friends (deeper conversations), concert buddies (a few of my friends' husbands...I know no women who enjoy the same music I do), obscure horror movie fans, and so forth. Not many of my friends "cross over" either. My mommy friends like scrap booking and can sit for hours "chatting"...I would rather be screaming at a concert or throwing around a football. etc etc
Look at it this way: you can get to know a wide group of people, not just some small category that is just like you. Focus on the positives instead of what each person/group/situation is lacking. If you do that you can enjoy each thing for what it is. Change your expectations would be my opinion.
Good luck! I wish you well!
Very well said. Some good points were made here. There is nothing wrong with having different groups of friends. In fact I think it is very beneficial to experience that type of diverse interests and perspectives. It also helps you meet new people.
I probably have several groups. Some are from high school, some from college, some from various sports, religious, others are co-workers, and so forth. These groups remain somewhat separate, but there is overlap between them all to some extent. There are also some practicing Catholics scattered throughout the various groups I spend time with, but none of us really talk about religion. I don't agree with any one group 100% on anything, but we all share enough common interests and our values are close enough that we are all pretty good friends.
I love getting to know new people. It has really been a pleasure. Sometimes I have met some really great people through others I didn't even care for that much.
[quote="Joe_5859, post:5, topic:195052"]
Don't worry if you don't feel as cheerful or "on fire" as those around you. Our walk with the Lord is our own. It doesn't look the same or go at the same rate as everyone else's. Just keep praying and fostering that relationship with Christ. He'll guide you where you need to be.
I think that is some good advice there. Sometimes what is on the surface isn't always accurate. We come across people in many aspects of life that can put on a good facade. To cite one example - There are people who have lots of possessions, big houses, fancy cars, but are in lots of debt actually. They appear to be wealthy. The opposite situation is also true of frugal people who make a lot of money.