Confused Today About my Marriage

Without going into my life story again I have been in a rocky marriage to my wife 5 years.(we have no kids)

I have been told by priest to divorce that they would help me annul my marriage in the church and more on. We both been in individual counseling for 9 months to a year and marriage counseling for the past 6 months. Although I have been stuburn and never wanted to talk to priest advise as leave me marriage I was getting to point in which I need to. For my own health and sanity.

For the last 2 years I have suspected borderline personality disorder(BPD). It has never been discussed between us. Recently I say a article my wife was reading about living with BPD.

If you do do not know about BPD please to not comment.

I am not really sure what to do?

I am sorry to hear of your struggles.

I think we anonymous internet posters are unlikely to offer better advice based on your brief post than a priest with whom you have consulted in person and more extensively.

If what the priest has said isn’t sitting well with you, perhaps consult another priest or two and see if the advice is consistent.

A serious mental illness could have invalidated your wife’s ability to consent to marriage, thus allowing your marriage to be declared null.

For grave reasons, such as drug abuse, mental illness, or physical/emotional abuse, the church does allow permanent separation or divorce as legal means to protect your safety and financial stability. You have no obligation to live under these circumstances.

You must submit your marriage to the diocesan tribunal to investigate the original wedding vows. If the tribunal finds that there was not sufficient consent, then it would declare you to be free to marry.

You also have the option to live singly if you do not wish to go through annulment proceedings, or believe there are no grounds for annulment.

There is a poster here that knows quite a bit about BPD. I have seen her recommend a number of books and seems to have some ideas about how to deal with it.

Maybe you can send her a private message.

Her screen name is


What advice can we here offer you that could possibly be better than the priest and counselors who have been working with you for over a year?

but 1ke,we’re all canon law experts and able to spiritually discern telepathically. :shrug:

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit