Apologies in advance for what may seem a jumbled post and for possibly posting this is the wrong place.
Until recently I would have undoubtedly described myself as athiest - I think part of what ‘drove’ me from religion was attending a Scripture Union camp which at the age of 11 felt quite like brain washing? It just felt like everything was pushed on me very fast? Anyway I can’t put my finger on it but recently I have felt a ‘draw’ to the church. I can’t explain what the appeal of the Catholic faith in particular is (perhaps sense of family). My local church is Church of Scotland and while I know you shouldn’t judge people I feel I would struggle there knowing some of the attendees as well as I do (I hate hypocrisy) and it seems to have become a bit of a social club/status symbol (I know that sounds odd, but you’d need to hear the conversations I do, I’m sure there are genuine members). The weird thing is when I start reading anything about Catholicism I realised I have always agreed with the RC Church’s stance on many things to the point many people assumed I was a follower of the faith.
I have a fairly good grounding of the Christian faith (I studied RS up to higher level - yes even though I identified myself as an athiest). Maybe it was a subconscious thing. It was at Christmas I felt a particular pull, which I didn’t act on as I’m unsure what to do. Is it acceptable to just start attending services? The nearest Catholic church is quite a distance away (I don’t drive and local buses are atrocious) and I’m not keen on spending a lot of money (again I know that shouldn’t be my focus) going to something I could be turned away from. I don’t think I know anyone who attends and it seems a bit rude to ask people outright.
I’ve not been baptised into any religion. My mother (who lives with me) is not religious and I feel uncomfortable even broaching the subject with her (pathetic when I’m nearly 30 I know). I went to Sunday School for a short time as a child, but the only other time I was in church was Remembrance Sunday when my Dad (ex-Navy) was alive (he died when I was 9). I think I understand about RCIA training, I’m unsure about the baptism for purely selfish reasons - I hate receiving attention. What do I do? Just phone up the local priest? I wouldn’t have the first clue as to what to say.
I’ve noticed there is an ALPHA course running near me in September, but given my working hours I don’t know if it would be an option and, without meaning to sound impatient, I don’t want to wait that long when I consider myself 99.9% sure.
Anyway sorry for rambling on. This is not a trolling post. The title I’ve used sums everything up really. Any suggestions would be gratefully received. I know I should have mentioned a love for God and Jesus, but I really don’t feel in a position to articulate this properly…yet.