Confused

I’ve always wanted marriage more than anything in the world. There has always been the desire in me to find a good godly man, marry him, stand by him no matter what, and give our children the Catholic faith that we’ve always firmly believed in.I’ve prayed almost every day since I was little about it. However,within the past year or so, however,there are times when I wonder if I have to give up those hopes and, in the words of St. Terese (although maybe not as drastically), “Go to the desert.” I wonder if God is calling me to be devoted entirely to him as a nun. And if my dreams are fruitless.

The desert could be the church, which could be how God is calling you? But there are many different roles in the chuch in which he is calling you. He could be wanting to test you and your commitment to your faith. Strengthen your relationship with God.

You alone can answer these questions. Sounds like the confusion is healthy though...

O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardships as the parthway to peace. Taking, as He did, the sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever.

These are issues to bring up with a good spiritual director.

Yes. I cannot underline these words enough. Find yourself a spiritual director immediately. Talk with your parish priest to get started.

Obviously you have much to consider and will need the aid of a good priest and possibly a Spiritual or vocational director. Please be patient with yourself in this matter.

You may find that your “dreams” are actually fulfilled in a vocation as a religious.
Consider what you ask for…
a good godly man, - Jesus certainly fits that bill.
marry him, - A nun is seen to be wed to Jesus.
*stand by him no matter what, * - This would certainly be true of your spouse, Jesus.
and give our children the Catholic faith that we’ve always firmly believed in - A vocation to a teaching order or something similar could give you hundreds and hundreds of children to raise up in faith.

Pleas know that I am not trying to influence you in any way, but just suggesting that your “dreams” and God’s plans just might have more in common than you suspected…

Peace
James

Spending time with Jesus in Adoration is a good thing, too.

<beautiful.
Where did you get that from?

I have heard the first few lines of this prayer many times before,but I didn’t realize there was a second part. thanks very much:)!

why are you thinking of giving up your dreams of marriage? Are you saying you have trouble finding a good man you want to marry and that is why you’re giving up hope as you say in the post?

If you want to go to the convent because your search for a good man is fruitlees, then it seems that you don’t have a vocation. Just be patient, look on dating websites, pray etc. :thumbsup:

[quote="Pfaffenhoffen, post:9, topic:274850"]
<beautiful.
Where did you get that from?

[/quote]

Reinhold Niebuhr quotes. He was Protestant, but it is still a good prayer and Catholics certainly can find solace in it.

goodreads.com/author/quotes/31146.Reinhold_Niebuhr

[quote="Tillyelizabeth, post:10, topic:274850"]
I have heard the first few lines of this prayer many times before,but I didn't realize there was a second part. thanks very much:)!

[/quote]

You are most welcome.:thumbsup:

[quote="swizzlestick, post:12, topic:274850"]
reinhold niebuhr quotes. He was protestant, but it is still a good prayer and catholics certainly can find solace in it.

goodreads.com/author/quotes/31146.reinhold_niebuhr

[/quote]

thanks

You are welcome.

On another note, I’m curious. When you quoted my post #12, you edited the quote to take all four capitalizations out of it. Why? No big deal, but I did a double-take when I saw it since I normally capitalize as needed. Are you an anti-capitalite ala Seinfeld?:smiley:

I’m still in high school so I realize that there is plenty of time to find someone! It’s more so the fact that I feel like I must go to the end of the earth for God out of love Him. And is it really right to go with my own path? I hope this clears things up a bit. it’s kind of hard to explain… :slight_smile:

I would suggest that you speak with your pastor or confessor. They can put you in touch with someone who can help you discern if you have a vocation and what kind.

Peace
James

I know how you feel. My desire was always for marriage, but there was never anyone, nothing. I prayed that God would lead me and if He wanted me to marry, He would let me know who the man was and that I would have clarity, right kind of desire, be able to know…I also explored several religious orders because, as a friend pointed out, you can try religious life, but you can’t try out marriage.

I found all of my convent visits beautiful, I loved them…and I came away from them knowing that was not where God wanted me.

Through prayer and the guidence of a good spiritual director I have found my prayers for guidence answered----years after I started them!

I guess what I’m trying to say is, keep praying and be patient. In my own experience you may end up where you never thought you would be (I am in California, last place I wanted to be, but I’m happy and know I’m where God wants me).

All these posts by women, like us, that are looking for marriage, makes me wonder where the Catholic men are? Maybe we need to not just pray for priestly vocations, but for vocations to marriage :slight_smile:

I’ll be praying for you!

definitely and thanks! :slight_smile:

Finding a man is though for several reasons.
At birth, there are more girls than boys. At age 22, they pair naturally, but may differ if there are wars.
Boys are more prone to accidents and motor deaths.
Men are more imbalanced than women though it is true that women are more temperamental. Men tend to drown their griefs in alcohol, drugs, risk taking, more than women. They succeed in suicide more than women.
They commit crimes easier. I know 5 lady friends of my that are paying for their ex-husbands debts, heavily…They commit more heavy crimes…
They die sooner, in old age.
So, it is naturally more difficult. I know beautiful and marvellous and with Univ degrees and finantially independent friends who are single and they do not like it.
They ask the same question: “where haven men gone to?”

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