Confusing respect and admiration


**Just something that has been on my mind. The issue of respect comes up a lot in various threads. A lot of them have to do with husbands. I remember one post talking about how we have to respect a person just because they are a person and we have to respect a person’s authority just because they hold that position. I believe an example having to do with a bad president was used.

Anyways, lots of women find it hard to accept that their husbands deserve respect just because they are their husbands. They don’t have to earn it. They don’t even have to be good husbands at all. We have to respect our husbands because they are a part of us…our spouse. But let’s face it, how can we do that when our husbands may be horrible?

By not confusing respect with admiration. Respect should be a given. Admiration is what can’t be automatic, it is naturally earned. I think a lot of women miss that boat when choosing a spouse (men too I’m sure). We need to choose spouses that are worthy of our admiration.
** So what do you admire about your spouse?**


Excellent post Malia!!! I find it a little disheartening too when I read some posts on this board too… it seems to me that we as a society don’t respect anyone anymore…

My DH is the sweetest most Patient and Godly man I have met… He lets me know when he thinks I am wrong about something in such a respectful way… in private and with alot of thought and suggestion… I admire the way he can deal with the kids when they seem to me that they are being horribly stubborn… Now that being said… on the rare occasion that they are disrespectful to me… he jumps all over them about treating me better… gotta love a guy like that!!!


I admire his drive to provide for the kids and me. He hates his job, but does it every weekday without complaining, so that I can stay home with our children.

I also admire his ability to cook really well. I don’t like going to restaurants very often, because he makes everything better at home. Seriously, he’s that good.

The highest admiration I have for him is the gentle, understanding way he helps me deal with my Mommy-related issues (especially painful/impossible intercourse due to breastfeeding hormones).

I cannot imagine life without him. I couldn’t have chosen a better man to unite myself with.


**Wow, didn’t think I started such a dud thread, lol.:stuck_out_tongue:

So did this thread die a premature death because not many of you actually admire your husbands?:wink:

I thought I was on to something…but maybe not:shrug:


Great thread, Malia!

I agree. I think that when we look at how men are viewed in our society, in the media, like sitcoms, etc…they are not respected or admired…they are often the brunt of jokes by the ‘wives’ on the show. It’s sad. I admire my husband because he didn’t divorce me when I asked for a separation years ago. He knew that I needed to mature as a wife, and mother–and he prayed a lot for me. He is such a strong Catholic man, even though he wrestles sometimes with dogma. But, we’re both respectful of one another. It wasn’t always that way. I think that often times, wives and husbands feel that they are not on the same side, but we really are ‘one flesh’ when we get married. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being angry at our spouses if they upset us, but we should always respect them in their roles. I mean, we are gifts to one another in marriage.:slight_smile:


May I post about my boyfriend?

I admire his understanding and acceptance of my faith. He isn’t Catholic, but tries to understand my views even if I am doing a bad job of explaining them. And he’s never disrespected my beliefs, or made me feel like I was being pushy when I speak about them.

He also always finds just the correct thing to say, in very few words, exactly what I need to hear. I can spend half an hour writing him an email about something that happened and the reply will be short, sweet, and make whatever trouble it was into nothing.

I agree, husbands are put down on television much too much. The stupid male character gets annoying after a few minutes, and makes you wonder how the sensible and intelligent woman can stand it for more than an hour.


Malia, I think the reason people aren’t responding is because at first glance, it looks like the thread is about something else. The title and first paragraph don’t explain what the thread is about, so people might skip over it who would otherwise post.

Anyway, things I admire about my boyfriend:

He’s a dedicated father to his daughters. He hates his job, yet he does it six days a week without complaining to put money away for their future.

He never breaks a promise to me. I know that when he says he will do something, he’ll do it. That means so much to me.

He’s thoughtful and kind to people. When his friends are in trouble, he’s the first person they call.

He lights up the room and my life with his smile. :love: I have a picture of him on my desk (actually, my office is plastered with pictures of him and of my family) and people always comment on his smile.

He has wonderful hopes, dreams, and plans for the future, including raising a loving, educated, and respectful hoard (:smiley: my term) of Catholic children, starting his own business, helping his younger siblings establish careers, giving to charity, and marrying me! :blushing:


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