Confusion on deliberate consent (Please respond)

I am always reading what deliberate consent of the will is but I always seem to find the same answers.

It is understandable that this is a tricky thing to answer, (especially if you don’t explain well what the situation is). I know what the catechism says about what is required for a sin to be mortal: full and deliberate consent/ awareness that it is a sin/ grave matter.

I just want to focus on full and deliberate consent.

I was in the same place that a girl who I think is pretty was in. Of course, I know that our personalities would not go well together. A thought came up in my head: “I would marry her if I wasn’t going to be a priest.”

Of course I would not lust for her, and sometimes I do fight that temptation. Though, this thought seemed to come all of a sudden. I don’t remember if I resisted it or not. It seemed to just pop up in my head without any resistance.

Though, after it just “popped up” I thought, “why did I say that? Was it for a lustfull thought? No, that’s evil, stop !”

The thing is, I am not sure if this was done with full consent. I always find things that say, if you catch yourself in the act and stop, then it is a venial sin. But this time, the thought seem to play out and then I wondered if I did it with full consent.

I don’t know if I am making excuses or what, I don’t want to be presumptious or justifying myself. I don’t know, I used to be Very scrupulious.

Please respond, I am planning on going to daily mass tomorrow.

You are being over-scrupulous.

We all have thoughts come into our head on the spur of the moment. None of them are ‘bidden’. It is also quite possible to consider a sinful concept without actually sinning.

Nothing you’ve described sounds like a deliberate act of will. It’s just a thought that played out in your head with you almost as an ‘observer’.

I can say without any reasonable doubt that there’s no mortal sin in your description. And remember that your venial sins do not prevent you from taking Communion.

Now relax and be at peace.

Your question is about consent. Forget about that for a moment and think about whether there was any grave matter for mortal sin. Actually, forget about grave matter, I can’t really see any sort of sin. So you thought a girl is nice and if marriage was your vocation she might make a good wife…why would that be any sin?

You say you used to struggle with scruples. I think perhaps you still struggle?

I’m trying to understand where the sin is in this???:confused:

You thought…If I wasn’t going to be a priest…THEN I would consider marrying her…

This is not lust…This is a simple statement of fact. Sort of an “alternate reality” thought.

I just can’t see where the sin is in this.

I agree with the previous poster…your scrupulosity is showing. You are quite safe to go to communion…

That said…If you are discerning the priesthood, then I would mention this issue to you spiritual director…or director of vocations…whoever is helping you discern.


I agree. I would also add that debating with oneself whether there was deliberate consent suggests there was not. If you really don’t know whether you willed something, surely you didn’t.

And, as others have mentioned, not only do I not see consent, I don’t see a sin to consent to.

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