Why does the church teach that virginity consecrated to Christ as a religious is the preferred state, and yet also claim that this doesn’t mean that marriage is inferior? Also, why is it preferred? I know what St. Paul, said but this teaching makes no sense to me. God said to be fruitful and multiply. If virginity is the preferred state, and everyone who can should do it, the implication is that people who marry do so only because they aren’t strong enough to be consecrated. This implies marriage is not as good. I also am confused because I’m pretty sure God does not want everyone to stop reproducing and for the human race to die off–yet this would happen if everyone was in the “preferred state.”. But virginity is the preferred state and marriage seems like a backup for all those who can’t do the religious life. Like God just made the sacrament where we create new life with Him as a backup?? I’m so confused about the logic behind all of this.
I ask bc recently I wondered about being a nun and felt all the sacrifice would entail; but realized after that God merely wanted me to realize that marriage entails just as much commitment and sacrifice to Christ, so I will be spiritually ready to marry when the right person comes. I think I want to be married so badly because it is how I can best serve God and His kingdom, and anything else would waste my gifts to some extent. Not bc I’m just not cut out to be a nun! But I explained this to some priests and now I’m afraid they think I should be a nun. But the thing is I’ve always been specially formed and inclined to create life, be a wife, and mother, more than most women I know.
I feel called to give myself totally as a spouse to Christ but I don’t feel called to be a religious. I have always wanted to be a wife and mother and raise children with my whole heart and more than most people I know. I am very close to Jesus and while I’m single I am spending this time giving myself to Him forever. But I have a hard time believing that the desire to marry, and all the life experiences He put me through to make me good at mothering / desire to create life are not “preferred.”. I just don’t get it…I’m so confused. I’m feeling pressure from priests to be a religious but the thought of giving up family life is too much, and I thought that creating new life is a huge deal not an afterthought. Can someone explain this all to me