It seems that celibacy is one of the greatest gifts that one can give God and is a superior state to marriage in general. However, the most perfect path to God is one's personal vocation specifically.
- To practice the second counsel, which concerns mortification, and profit by it, you should engrave this truth on your heart. And it is that you have not come to the monastery for any other reason than to be worked and tried in virtue; you are like the stone that must be chiseled and fashioned before being set in the building. Thus you should understand that those who are in the monastery are craftsmen placed there by God to mortify you by working and chiseling at you. Some will chisel with words, telling you what you would rather not hear; others by deed, doing against you what you would rather not endure; others by their temperament, being in their person and in their actions a bother and annoyance to you; and others by their thoughts, neither esteeming nor feeling love for you. You ought to suffer these mortifications and annoyances with inner patience, being silent for love of God and understanding that you did not enter the religious life for any other reason than for others to work you in this way, and so you become worthy of heaven. If this was not your reason for entering the religious state, you should not have done so, but should have remained in the world to seek your comfort, honor, reputation, and ease.*St. John of the Cross *
It seems that by choosing marriage one might be choosing comfort and ease. What if the thought of celibacy depresses one and one is joyed by the thought of marriage. And because celibacy is lonely it becomes an emotional struggle to help others so it frees up no free time to serve in a broader way than the family? On the other hand, a relationship helps one to be grateful for God's blessings and to be more cheerful about serving others although children mean that time is still limited. What is the proper way to discern the correct vocation in this case? Are there any saints or writings for God that clearly pointed out when one knows that one's correct vocation is marriage?