I do, ultimately, want to pursue consecrated virginity. At the moment though, I’m kind of feeling like there’s a lot of here and now that I’m failing at. I often intend to pray, but frequently forget. (This is rather exacerbated by the number of other things I forget, like meals.) I’ve been trying to set a phone alarm but that does sometimes fail on me.
I haven’t been much involved with Catholic life, other than this forum and weekly Mass attendance. There is very little scheduled outside my working hours and not super-early in the morning (2nd shift) - really the only regular offering for adults is the Alpha course that I went to for a little bit and didn’t find terribly useful. Changing shifts have also made me reluctant to commit to anything.
A lot of times it can feel like just living takes up all your time and energy. Not in a depressed sense, but that by the time you’ve managed to go to work and come home and make sure there’s clean clothing and meals to eat and the dishes are done, just trying to keep life running keeps you pretty busy.
I have a chance to make a lot of changes soon. New job, normal hours, a chance to move somewhere that has more available to the working adult, an actual paycheck with money left over after bills. It’s going to be a long journey.
I don’t really know where people are supposed to be before embarking on a vocation. I feel like I’ll never be ready. Good Catholic singles aren’t supposed to forget their holy days and lose their rosaries.
I’m not really sure where to start, other than “something more.”