Considering adoption


#1

My wife and I have a wonderfull marriage and two great children 6 and 5. Recently the topic of adoption came up as we would love to ad to our family. absolutly love children and would like to help a child out. I have no idea were to get good information about this and am clueless about adoption. If you know good places to get information or have adopted any input would help. I have to admit it is a slightly scary to me


#2

Why not contact your diocese? I’m sure they have information on where to start!

May God bless you on your journey! :slight_smile:


#3

I guess that would be the best place to start. Its funny sometims we do not think of the simple way to start.


#4

Private adoption is the cheapest way to go, but also one of the hardest. We’ve lost two darlings so far. :frowning: It’s been especially hard for us as we are not able to have biological children of our own. We don’t have the heart or the finances to try again anytime soon. But God works in mysterious ways and we hope he makes that later come sooner. :smiley:

This is a beautiful journey, but also a long and difficult one. So please don’t loose heart if you run into a few bumps along the road. Keep it up and realize the destination is beyond worth the difficult journey traveled to get there. :slight_smile:


#5

I am very sorry to hear that you lost two and I do not want to bring up bad feelings but did you adopt raise the children for a while and then the parents come and get them. This scares me very much. I will pray for you to have a young one in your life soon.


#6

Please don’t let it scare you, most everyone goes through at least one loss during the adoption process. Many couples loose multiple children. Unfortunately it’s all part of the journey. It’s not made for the weak, but the strong of heart. That being said your wife went through so much to bear the two children you have, would you not endure that same pain again (this time emotionally instead of physically) for your next child? It really is a laborious process. It’s a labor of love! :slight_smile:

Our personal story was that we almost adopted the first one, but the birth father stepped in and prevented from going through because we weren’t “open” enough for him. :rolleyes: The second one another family was simply chosen over us. The first was obviously the most difficult, but the second still hurt like a child loss. :frowning:


#7

Thanks for explaining. by the way what were you supposed to be more open about. If its personal please do not answer.


#8

There are open adoptions which allow the birth parents certain visiational rights with your child either by phone or in person. And closed adoptions do not allow any child contact with the birth parents, but the adoptive parents can still tell the birth parents how the child is doing. Which is what we chose. The birth father of our first child wanted a completely open adoption, he wanted to be able to see his child everyday if he so desired, which we did not want to do to the poor child, so we lost our first darling because we felt it was the best thing to do for him.


#9

Hi dprewett,

I don’t know where to begin looking, but are you considering adopting in the US or are you considering other countries as well? I have an auntie who adopted two separate times from China and all went pretty smoothly both times. There are also children in all over the world who need loving homes. I know that people would say look in your own country first, but sometimes it’s harder to adopt here and easier in other countries. Just a thought. If you’re interested, I can ask my auntie what process they went through to adopt their two. PM me if you want to and I’ll ask.

God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving,

-Hope


#10

Very good information. Would not want open that could turn into trouble. Would be like raising children in split families. I can see how this would work best for a child.


#11

First of all I am embarassed to say that I do not know how to pm. But I would love any information that I can get. I do not care about country of origin as a Catholic I feel that people belong to God not a country.


#12

Oh! No problem. I will ask her what process they went through. It may take me a few days to get back to you on it, but I promise you I will.

In His Love,

-Hope


#13

Thanks,


#14

My wife and I have adopted one child and are finalizing the adoption of two others. They all came to us as foster children through the county children's services. We honestly did not go into fostering thinking we'd adopt, but when the opportunity arose, we jumped.

Foster care is hard - you have to deal with parents who are mentally ill, drug addicts, or have other problems that keep them from raising their children. Still, for us it was the only option. All three of our girls come from biological parents who were also in the foster system. We're breaking a cycle.

In our state, a child who is foster and is adopted has all costs paid for by the state. In one case, since she is bi-racial, they even pay us monthly for her. Little do they know, I'd pay them!

It's not for everyone, but everyone has a community that has children in need. Why not think about taking in one (or more) into a stable home where God is worshipped? I honestly wish every Christian family in america would do this. We'd empty the system and get abused children into homes where the Word of God is taught.


#15

Do you know who Dr. Raymond Gurendi is? He is a Catholic therapist/apologist who has adopted many children and writes books on the topic. He is brutally honest and totally Catholic in his approach. He is often on EWTN…I think he does a radio show for them too. If you google him I think you will find some goodies.

God bless your family!


#16

My husband and I have considered adoption as well, but the cost has put it out of reach for us. We've looked into going the foster-to-adopt route, but have not gotten into it yet. Perhaps once I am finished with school it may be an option.

Anyone with personal experience who can comment on the cost of private adoption for them?


#17

Contact your local Catholic Charities, they should have information for your area. Open adoption is not as scary as some will make you believe. Maybe I am a bit biased because I am an adoptee :shrug: I know that a lot of people on here would not agree with me, although many of them have not been personally involved in an open adoption. I personally believe it is the more humane and Christian adoption for all involved. IMHO It is NOT like a child is being raised in 2 separate homes, the kids will get it and understand it better than people give them credit for. I know many birth mothers and adoptive families that would share with you their successes.

I also agree to read Dr. Ray's books.
We have also started a thread in the parenting forum for those who are or have adopted, join us there!! :thumbsup:


#18

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