I was married several years ago in the Catholic church. My ex was also Catholic (baptized not confirmed). Long story short, we started dating when we were young (both 18) and finally married at 24. We had our problems, but I thought that all couples fought. 6 months into our marriage things got really bad suddenly. Its like a switch was flipped and this person I’d known for 6 years became someone I didn’t know at all. At that time, he told me that he had never wanted to marry me but he had discussed it with his mother a month before the wedding. He never told me. In fact, I had asked him numerous times if he was sure he wanted to marry me because something felt “off” but he always assured me that he was ready for marriage. When things went wrong, I begged him for counseling. He went to 1 session and refused to go back. I went alone. The relationship deteriorated to a point where we lived as roommates not even sharing a bedroom, he wanted nothing to do with me, I was afraid of him because any conversation would cause him to fly into a rage so I avoided him. I finally discovered that he was going on a trip with another woman and begged him not to go but he went anyway. We had no relationship at all at that point so I moved out while he was gone. He made no attempt to repair the relationship. The divorce was finalized a year later. There is much more, but that’s it in a nutshell.
I stopped going to church because I didn’t know what place I had in the church anymore. I loved going to church and was sad that I was losing that part of my life but I didn’t know what to do. I never considered annulment, because felt that my marriage was a marriage however brief it was.
I later met a wonderful man and we married a few years later in a civil ceremony. We are happily married and now have 2 beautiful children. I have since started attending mass again. It is upon the birth of my second child when I was looking into baptizing her that I stumbled upon information about annulment and realized that several of the beliefs I had were wrong. I now wonder if at least my ex’s lack of desire to marry me, might me grounds to annul the marriage if not other circumstances. I would love nothing more than to be able to attend mass and participate fully with my children and husband. I would also love to have my current marriage blessed. Of course, I know that there are no guarantees.
It is difficult for me to even think about opening that painful chapter of my life again. I do not know where my ex is and only have an e-mail address for him but I do not wish to contact him about this. I am also very nervous about meeting with a priest. I’m not sure where to begin …