Contemplating a Vocation


#1

Hello Everyone:

I am kind of in a funk, I have been discerning a vocation to the religious life for sometime now. Everything was lining up and seem to be working out in regards to moving to that direction, however a part of me still wants to get married, have children, and live a typical laymen life. Now I met this girl, and things are really really working out good between us and I could possibly see myself marrying her in the future, she is not Catholic, but rather Methodist, and is really open to God's presence in her life and she is contemplating coming to the Catholic Church.

So I feel like I am torn between the two, but I don't honestly know yet or not whether I have a vocation to that life or not for sure, but I guess I am still kind of scared that I might have regrets in my life later or not. Don't get me wrong, I am passionately in love with this girl, and your all going to think I'm crazy but we have only been officially together for about 4 months, but have known each other for over a year now.

We have talked about marriage and we both feel that we are for each other, but I can't help but feel that vocation looming over my head or something. Just I'm just curious to peoples thoughts, advice, recommendation, prayers, you name it i'll take it. Because, I don't want to rush God, but at the same time I don't want to lead this girl on in anyway, shape for form.

I look forward to your comments, thanks alot!

In His Name,

Chris


#2

If you want to seriously discern the religious life, you would need to make an agreement with the girl that you two separate for a long period of time, and live single, and you spend time with a spiritual director and much time in prayer, while also visiting orders. If after a few years you do not find a calling to the religious life, you'll know what direction you are called to take. But, you can't be dating while discerning the religious life. Your heart has to be singlehearted on God, not girls. I do not even keep friends with men, except men of Dad and grandpa ages.


#3

[quote="Chris913, post:1, topic:234282"]
Hello Everyone:

I am kind of in a funk, I have been discerning a vocation to the religious life for sometime now. Everything was lining up and seem to be working out in regards to moving to that direction, however a part of me still wants to get married, have children, and live a typical laymen life. Now I met this girl, and things are really really working out good between us and I could possibly see myself marrying her in the future, she is not Catholic, but rather Methodist, and is really open to God's presence in her life and she is contemplating coming to the Catholic Church.

So I feel like I am torn between the two, but I don't honestly know yet or not whether I have a vocation to that life or not for sure, but I guess I am still kind of scared that I might have regrets in my life later or not. Don't get me wrong, I am passionately in love with this girl, and your all going to think I'm crazy but we have only been officially together for about 4 months, but have known each other for over a year now.

We have talked about marriage and we both feel that we are for each other, but I can't help but feel that vocation looming over my head or something. Just I'm just curious to peoples thoughts, advice, recommendation, prayers, you name it i'll take it. Because, I don't want to rush God, but at the same time I don't want to lead this girl on in anyway, shape for form.

I look forward to your comments, thanks alot!

In His Name,

Chris/QUO

pray, pray, pray. I pray for you that as you are contemplating a vocation. I am in formation in the Secular Franciscan Order and will be professed in May of 2012 and I am getting married this August. There are many good lay orders out there and it is very beneficial to look into them.

[/quote]


#4

Thank you both for the reply, I understand the need to pray, and I have also started looking at 3rd Order groups as a possible option as well. I guess I really don't know. Are there definitive aspects and "signs" of a vocation that I should look for? But the whole thing leaves me questioning, because I do feel that God has placed this women in my life, not only has she brought be back to Christianity, but also is immensely supportive in everything I do. I feel that If I took "time" to be single, which I have been for most of my life, then in the event that I am wrong, I lost the most wonderful person I have ever had in my life.

I can't say I agree 100% that I can't date and search for a vocation at the same time. I like to think that my heart is wholeheartedly directed to God, yet I still feel that pull and tug in both directions. I see a life utterly dedicated unto God, as a very beautiful and wondrous thing, and the very thought inspires me greatly, but at the same time I wonder what role pride or vanity has to play in my attraction to the life. I guess really all there is to do is pray....

Thanks,

Chris


#5

[quote="Chris913, post:4, topic:234282"]
Thank you both for the reply, I understand the need to pray, and I have also started looking at 3rd Order groups as a possible option as well. I guess I really don't know. Are there definitive aspects and "signs" of a vocation that I should look for? But the whole thing leaves me questioning, because I do feel that God has placed this women in my life, not only has she brought be back to Christianity, but also is immensely supportive in everything I do. I feel that If I took "time" to be single, which I have been for most of my life, then in the event that I am wrong, I lost the most wonderful person I have ever had in my life.

I can't say I agree 100% that I can't date and search for a vocation at the same time. I like to think that my heart is wholeheartedly directed to God, yet I still feel that pull and tug in both directions. I see a life utterly dedicated unto God, as a very beautiful and wondrous thing, and the very thought inspires me greatly, but at the same time I wonder what role pride or vanity has to play in my attraction to the life. I guess really all there is to do is pray....

Thanks,

Chris

[/quote]

some saints lives can have an impact on your decision. I grew up knowing and learning about St. Francis and his lifestyle influenced my decision to follow his way of life and to live the Gospel the way he did according to Christ


#6

[quote="Chris913, post:4, topic:234282"]

I can't say I agree 100% that I can't date and search for a vocation at the same time. I like to think that my heart is wholeheartedly directed to God, yet I still feel that pull and tug in both directions. I see a life utterly dedicated unto God, as a very beautiful and wondrous thing, and the very thought inspires me greatly, but at the same time I wonder what role pride or vanity has to play in my attraction to the life. I guess really all there is to do is pray....

Thanks,

Chris/QUOT

Believe me even when we already tried to live in the monastery for orientation, we will still have a doubt about it. it's my experience and still discerns until now. Because I still have a thought having family and a thought to be a nun in the same time :(

[/quote]


#7

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.