Contraceptives vs chance of miscarriage


#1

Good day everyone, I met a wonderful woman recently, we have spoken a lot. She has been brough up in the faith, but lost it in her teenage times. To go fast forward to the current period, she’s told me she uses contraceptives. And yes, it’s because she doesn’t want to become pregnant. I’ve told her that our church does have an issue with this, and me also because of this. The reason she doesn’t want any children anymore is because of medical reasons. I know sometimes contraceptives are permitted if there is a medical cause, but never when there is a medical reason. In her previous marriage she has been pregnant a few times and they, except for one, ended up in miscarriage. The last one she did receive a healthy boy , but this could only succeed with the use of lots of medication, with hormones etc. I’ve told her, that if we want to get married, I want to be open for kids. But for her it is just too much, she can’t handle anymore of the problems she has had when she tried to get kids before. That’s the reason she keeps her IUD and chose not to become pregnant again.

So the question would be, would the use of IUD in this case be permitted as contraception, because there is no way for her to conceive a baby in a normal way? I’m not sure…


#2

Yes, it’s contraception.


#3

Yes it is contraception and no it is not permitted.

Treatments can be licit when they treat the disease-- for example removing the uterus of damaged.

She would be called to use natural family planning or abstain completely.

Given that she is not wanting to practice the faith, this may not be the right person for you.


#4

I understand. I’ve lost 3 babies. And I’m pretty much in her position where if I get pregnant again, it’s a good chance I’ll lose that baby too. But that’s no justification to contracept. Contraception is ALWAYS intrinsically evil, regardless of the reason why.

Here is how I’ve coped with this. It is my ONLY goal as a mom to get my children, spouse and self to heaven. I’ve already succeeded with my 3 who I lost. I have 3 saints who are my personal intecessors. How cool is that?

While it’s not easy, I have to trust that God’s plan is best for me. If that means getting pregnant and losing more babies, then who am I to say God is wrong? While I absolutely wouldn’t choose this path, if it’s necessary for my sanctification, then I accept it.

Today I read this from St. Faustina’s diary. Perhaps it will speak to you as it did me:

Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts] (Diary, 50).

Trusting in God is so hard. This cross, losing my babies, has brought me more suffering than anything else. But then I think of the alternative- and I can’t do it. Rest assured that you’ll be in my prayers. Feel free to PM. This is a situation I’m all too familiar with.


#5

She’s not that wonderful if she’s using contraceptives to not get pregnant…

That says two things about her…shes having sex outside of marriage, that goes against church teaching and the bible and is a sin…and she is using contraception as she wants the pleasure without having to deal with a baby…and then what about all those potential embryos that she may have caused to be aborted by taking contraceptives…?..


#6

All important points to consider.

Regarding potential embryos being aborted :According to One More Soul’s Intrauterine Devices (IUD/IUS): What Every Woman Needs to Know , by Lili Cote de Bejarano, MD, MPH , [bolds mine]

IUDs work against pregnancy in several ways. Some of these effects take place before fertilization, and** others take place after the sperm and egg have united to form a new human being.**

. . . Using mathematical models, it has been estimated that a woman using the IUD/IUS will have from about 0.2 to 1.8 abortions (destruction of a new human life) per year caused specifically by the IUD/IUS.

I don’t know of any “permitted contraception” per se, but the IUD could no more be permitted than any other *abortifacient *could be.

That linked article also lists some of the hazardous side effects of the IUD :

*Uterus perforation

Bladder perforation

Spontaneous abortion

Septic abortion

Pelvic inflammatory disease

Heavy bleeding

Ectopic pregnancy

Permanent sterility

Allergy to copper

Copper toxicity

Anemia

Backache

Ovarian cyst*


#7

Thanks everyone for the responses… I’ve put mine and the catholic perspective into something to discuss with her. Now its up to her to decide what to do.


closed #8

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