Allium Cepa News Network (ACNN) has just received a breaking story from the Vatican. A motu proprio has just been issued by the pope. This much anticipated document finally ends the contentious debate regarding the use of dancing bears in the liturgy. Before we proceed, however, a brief history of liturgical bears is in order.
The first reported use of a dancing bear in a liturgy came on August 12th in Berkley, CA. On that day, Fr. Kevin Smith, pastor of Blessed Karl Rahner Catholic Community, introduced a live dancing bear into the sanctuary during the 10 am Mass. The addition came as a shock to some of the parishioners. Parishioner John Hart stated, “I knew the Vatican issued a statement on the use of bears in the liturgy, but I must say, I never expected the bears to actually dance during the Mass.” Other parishioners had more positive reactions. Animal rights activist Robin Byrd remarked, “This is a glorious day in the history of the Church. Finally these bears can share in our joy of the Risen Lord, a Lord not just of people, but of bears as well.”
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