Convalidating a marriage


#1

Has anyone here convalidated a civil marriage to make it sacramental??

I have a few questions to ask. Hope you can help.


#2

adding to my short post…

I married an excommunicated JW in March and I’ve tried to convince him of the importance of the sacrament for me. He doesn’t seem to understand why I want this, but he tells me he won’t violate his beliefs. We already violated mine for not marrying throgh the Church.

I want to explain to him what it means to a Catholic but his religion actually teaches that a civil marriage is the only thing needed in the eyes of God. They do marry through their congregations only if both parties are JW and of course virgins, but I am Catholic and he was excommunicated for not being a virgin.

How can I explain it to him that this doesn’t mean he has to become Catholic? He was baptized, did his first communion and was confirmed, but about 13 years ego, he became a JW (he was 10 yrs old). My Pastor said whether he wants it or not, he is still a Catholic since he was baptized under the Church.

My Pastor told me he could see the 2 of us and explain to him the reason why I need to be married in the eyes of God through the CC, but my husband said no, so I need to find a way to make him see my point of view.

Also, can one get married outside the Church (meaning not inside the temple) but on Church grounds and still be valid? He won’t go inside a Church either.

Got any answers? I’d appreciate your help.


#3

Would it help if you explained that you cannot receive Communion until your marriage is blessed (unless of course you received permission to marry outside the church)?
That’s basically what it is to someone who may not care about it…a blessing.

DH and I will be getting our marriage convalidated after being married 18+ years by the JofP… The difference for us is both of us are Catholic and willing.

I don’t know what a JW would object to…especially since it doesn’t mean he has to attend a CC. Maybe he could think of it as something for YOU.


#4

Maria thanks for your response. My husband thinks that convalidating our marriage by the CC means he’s violating his beliefs, therefore he doesn’t want to do it. I put it this way… I learned about his religion in order to understand him better, I was doing that for him, but he cannot do it for me. I told him this but always responds the same way: “violation to beliefs”.

This angries me, what about my beliefs?


#5

In his eyes your beliefs are not important…sad!
but then if his beleifs where SO important to him he would not of gotten himself excommunicated…would he!!!


#6

Say it to him in so many words.

My Pastor told me he could see the 2 of us and explain to him the reason why I need to be married in the eyes of God through the CC, but my husband said no, so I need to find a way to make him see my point of view.

Rather than trying to “make him”, can you take on more of a “lead him” approach.

Also, can one get married outside the Church (meaning not inside the temple) but on Church grounds and still be valid? He won’t go inside a Church either.

Yes, but only with special permission from your bishop.


#7

His answer to this is that he is human and he is not perfect.


#8

LOL!!!
It looks like you have your hands full with this one…sorry to say.


#9

This may be your only answer. You cannot make him.
Maybe let it drop for a while. Pray about this.

He’ll watch how important your faith is to you & maybe his objection will become less with time.
I don’t know how much time though. :rolleyes:
.


#10

Karin - The Op is looking for help, not sarcastic, pridefull responses.


#11

check out this thread on Radical Sanation
forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=115868&highlight=radical+sanation

i will only add what has been said countless times on this forum. No one here is competent to answer individual questions about individual marriage situations. You must go through your pastor and the diocesan marriage tribunal for an answer that takes into account the specifics of your individual situation. You are wasting your time about asking for anything more than a general answer to general questions about Church teaching on marriage here.


#12

What beliefs would he be violating?

I don’t know much, okay, anything about the JW religion. So, I am not sure how to approach this.:o

I did have a convalidation. My husband is an atheist. Yep, a total non-believer. He did not feel that he needed any more than the Civil Marriage. But since I needed and wanted the Convalidation, he went through with it. But there were no beliefs to overcome for him.

It was more a matter of since it was important to me, it was important to him. He said that was what being married was all about. Doing things for your spouse.

Also, we were not married in the main Church. We were married in a smaller Chapel. That might make you husband feel better.

Make an appointment with your priest. Tell him everything and go from there.


#13

I was aware of that…my LOL was in response to his response.


#14

I do think that the OP should look at the reasons for marrying this man outside of the Church…and his motivation for keeping her from HER church and beliefs.


#15

Thank you Arbie


#16

Thanks so much. I’ve been emailing a Deacon and he mentioned this to me… I have great hope now. Except for the fact that my Pastor never mentioned this to me.

Can I bring it up to him???


#17

I married him outside the Church since he rejected the idea completely of doing that for me. He tries to respect my beliefs as I try to respect his. He wishes I’d convert to JW but in my heart I know which is the real Church. I also wish he’d come back to the CC but he won’t, so just hope one day he’ll realize that the JW teachings are wrong and wants to find the real Church.


#18

So you rejected **your **beliefs for him?
From what you have posted it would seem that he does not try to respect **your **beliefs…it is all about his beliefs and what he wants.:frowning:
I pray that you find a solution to your problem and that he sees the light and comes back to the true church


#19

You are right about our giving advice. However, some people get comfort in discussing an issue that is bothering them with others who might have been thru the same thing and with whom they can share concerns. Another point, many, many priests do not know very much about radical sanation.


#20

You have my prayers. What a sad situation to be in. How long have you been married and do you have children? This might get worse before it gets better. I will say a rosary for you tonight. God keep you.


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