Hello and sorry if this gets a tad long. My husband and I were both raised Catholic. We both left the Church in middle school and thus were not confirmed. We have been married 15 years(only marriage for both of us) but were not married in the Church. We have attended several non-catholic churches over the years but none felt right. Last January (2012) we decided to return to the Catholic Church. This was a big step for us as we have anti-Catholic family members, but we felt it was time to do what we felt was right and not what extended family felt was right. We found a large parish we liked and contacted them about being confirmed. We were told to take a class for people returning to the Catholic Church, which we did. We then again contacted them about being Confirmed and enrolling our children(we have3) in religious ed class, so they too can one day receive the Sacraments. They were quick to sign our kids up for classes but told us we would have to wait. A few more months go by and we finally get a meeting with one of the Deacons about getting our marriage Convalidated and being Confirmed. He very frankly told us that we didn’t have to return to the Catholic Church to be saved and we perhaps should just stay in the church we were going to, he told us that the Convalidation process is long at least 6 months some take up to a year and during that time we should abstain from the marital act. He also told us that the marriage issue would have to be taken care of first to be Confirmed, which made sense. He was very polite but we left feeling like he was trying to talk us out of coming home. It is a very large church and maybe they just didn’t want to deal with us? At this point we had already paid out a large amount of money for our kids religous ed classes so we decided to stick with this Church. Now a little over a year later we are closing in on our convalidation cermony and I am not at all excited, we will be married by the Deacon who didn’t think we should return to the Church. I feel like maybe we just should have ate the money and went to a parish that was more welcoming and excited to have us. I would greatly appreciate any advice on how to move on past this and forgive and be excited about the Sacrament of Marriage.
Convalidation in this situation should actually not be a long and involved process at all. Sounds like the Tony and Maria situation presented here: americancatholic.org/messenger/feb2004/feature2.asp
Try to forgive him. He is human. He was grossly in error telling you that, but try to be gracious. If you just cannot, please talk to your pastor about having someone else do your convalidation.