Convalidation/Wedding Blessing


#1

I hope I am posting this in the right area. I am very grateful to have found a website such as this one where I can ask questions. I have a big one.

My husband and I were engaged in April 2009 with plans to marry in May 2010. We found out we were pregnant in July 2009 and eloped to have a JOP wedding. Our beautiful son is now 1 year old. I want to raise him Catholic.

Anyway, on the website of the Church for the baptism, it says *If parents are not married, or married only civilly, they should speak to the Deacon or one of
the parish priests to see whether their marriage can be convalidated, permitting them to receive the sacraments. We are happy to help with this; no need for a big wedding. You are preparing yourselves to give good example for your child. *

I have not been to Church in about a year, but I have been baptized and received all sacraments. My husband has not been baptized under any religion. My original intention was to be married in Church. He said he wanted to take RCIA classes, but his work schedule conflicted with those classes at the Church I want to get married at. There is another parish closer to our home that offers the classes on a day he would be able to attend (beginning in September/October).

Because our JOP wedding only had my in-laws, a brother, and a friend, we were hoping to have a large group of family/friends and a reception after our marriage would be convalidated. Because of the statement on their website, I feel that they frown upon this practice (of a “big wedding” convalidation). Is this something that is not practiced? Do you think they would convalidate our marriage?

I’m just nervous about meeting with a priest about having our marriage convalidated. I’m scared we will get denied and that our marriage won’t be recognized in the eyes of God. I’ve heard mixed opinions online, and it makes me even more anxious to meet with someone. I will call, I promise, but I wanted to hear what everyone thinks. I’m sorry for the lengthy post, but I thought having details would help.


#2

[quote="mrsbunyip, post:1, topic:232272"]
Because our JOP wedding only had my in-laws, a brother, and a friend, we were hoping to have a large group of family/friends and a reception after our marriage would be convalidated. Because of the statement on their website, I feel that they frown upon this practice (of a "big wedding" convalidation). Is this something that is not practiced? Do you think they would convalidate our marriage?

[/quote]

I think you misunderstand. Many people don't seek a convalidation because they say they "dont have the money for a big wedding." I think the parish is trying to convey that this is not an obstacle to a valid marriage and people should not hold back on convalidating because of it.

Yes you can have family and friends there, and a reception too.

[quote="mrsbunyip, post:1, topic:232272"]
I'm just nervous about meeting with a priest about having our marriage convalidated. I'm scared we will get denied

[/quote]

On what grounds?


#3

I can understand the "big wedding" comment now. I was looking forward to having one.

[quote="1ke, post:2, topic:232272"]
On what grounds?

[/quote]

I am scared because we already have a child together, before we were married in Church.


#4

[quote="mrsbunyip, post:3, topic:232272"]
I am scared because we already have a child together, before we were married in Church.

[/quote]

That is not an impediment to a valid marriage and convalidation.


#5

Don't be afraid to talk to a priest and get information about a convalidation. I too had a JOP civil marriage and had it convalidated later on. My experience was that the priest was glad that hubby and I were taking the steps necessary to come back to the sacraments.

As for having a gathering to celebrate the convalidation, that is something to discuss with the priest when you meet with him. Some parishes do frown on making a big deal out of a convalidation. I'm not sure why. When my parents had their marriage convalidated, their parish priest was very insistent that the only people present be them, two witnesses, and the priest. At the parish where my marriage was convalidated, our priest also said that he'd prefer we keep it very small. My husband and I saw it as something to celebrate, and we felt it was important to have our friends and family present when our marriage was blessed in the church, so we had a bigger ceremony and reception after.


#6

God bless you and your family!!! Don't be afraid to talk to your Priest. x x x x


#7

[quote="mrsbunyip, post:1, topic:232272"]
I hope I am posting this in the right area. I am very grateful to have found a website such as this one where I can ask questions. I have a big one.

My husband and I were engaged in April 2009 with plans to marry in May 2010. We found out we were pregnant in July 2009 and eloped to have a JOP wedding. Our beautiful son is now 1 year old. I want to raise him Catholic.

Anyway, on the website of the Church for the baptism, it says *If parents are not married, or married only civilly, they should speak to the Deacon or one of
the parish priests to see whether their marriage can be convalidated, permitting them to receive the sacraments. We are happy to help with this; no need for a big wedding. You are preparing yourselves to give good example for your child. *

I have not been to Church in about a year, but I have been baptized and received all sacraments. My husband has not been baptized under any religion. My original intention was to be married in Church. He said he wanted to take RCIA classes, but his work schedule conflicted with those classes at the Church I want to get married at. There is another parish closer to our home that offers the classes on a day he would be able to attend (beginning in September/October).

Because our JOP wedding only had my in-laws, a brother, and a friend, we were hoping to have a large group of family/friends and a reception after our marriage would be convalidated. Because of the statement on their website, I feel that they frown upon this practice (of a "big wedding" convalidation). Is this something that is not practiced? Do you think they would convalidate our marriage?

I'm just nervous about meeting with a priest about having our marriage convalidated. I'm scared we will get denied and that our marriage won't be recognized in the eyes of God. I've heard mixed opinions online, and it makes me even more anxious to meet with someone. I will call, I promise, but I wanted to hear what everyone thinks. I'm sorry for the lengthy post, but I thought having details would help.

[/quote]

Been There. Done That. Make an appointment with your priest and have a lovely convalidation, small, medium or large.


#8

Thanks everyone. I think I just needed some encouragement.


#9

You will find that the priest will be very friendly and encouraging and helpful. The Church really does heed Luke 15:7

“I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”


#10

Me too.

And when you show up for that appointment, I bet the priest will say, " I am so glad you are here."


#11

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