I have a quick question and hopefully this is the place to post it. My DH and I are having our convalidation ceremony on Friday. We are parishioners at our parish, very friendly and close to our pastor (who is performing the ceremony). We’ve gone through all the proper channels, done the paperwork, gotten our license, picked our readings, etc. However, our pastor hasn’t made mention of any possible “fee/donation” for the ceremony. I know when you have a formal wedding, most parishes ask for a specific donation for use of the church.

Since he hasn’t mentioned it (and we are doing it at an odd time, not taking up a potential wedding slot), what would be an appropriate thing to do? I was thinking of giving a donation to the church and a little something to the pastor himself.

Thoughts? Thank you. :slight_smile:


Yes, it is customary to give an offering. In some places the offering goes to a works of charity fund or the general parish fund and in others it goes to the pastor.

If you want to make an offering to the parish and a separate stipend to the priest, just make sure that’s clear, such as by giving two checks or two envelopes labeled separately.

As for amount, it varies from place to place. The bishop sets what can be thought of as a “maximum” amount. In our area its usually $50, in others it can be $150 or more.

The parish secretary can probably tell you what is customary in your area. But, you can give whatever you like or can afford.


Sorry to be a bit off topic-- but what do you need a license for?


I was wondering the same thing.


A marriage license it a state issued authorization to marry. It is required in 50 US states.


Yes, I know that.

This is a convalidation- which means they already have one.


Ok. Well the Catholic Church requires a copy of the marriage certificate for convalidation.


Perhaps they had to request an official copy of their marriage license? Do some dioceses/parishes want an official copy to put in their records?


I agree with 1ke, the parish secretary should know what is expected in terms of stipend and church use. Yours is not the first convalidation, so she probably knows the price for that too. If it is too much money for you, I’m sure she can arrange to accept a lesser amount. Congratulations on your marriage.


Make sure you specify to the parish secretary that this is a convalidation since wedding costs are more due to the use of the sanctuary, lights, heat etc. They won’t be as much for a simple convalidation. Using two envelopes for your donation and gift to the priest is also a good idea.

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