I am engaged to get married. I love my fiancee, and our relationships is strong, deep, stable, and rooted in Christ. I am excited to marry him! We enjoy each other’s company, rarely have trouble finding something enjoyable to do together, and can simply sit in silence with one another. We can talk about both the good and the bad (hopes, dreams, fears, pornography, etc.).
I have one major source of anxiety or worry, however. I am a virgin, and he is not (this, in and of itself, is not my concern - please keep reading). Together, we will be waiting until we’re married to live together and/or have sex. He is 100% on board with that. I know that he is a different person than he was back when he was in several sexually active relationships, and he regrets many of his past decisions. To be honest, I admire him and am proud of him for the ways that he has allowed God’s grace to transform his life.
Without needing or wanting to know details, there are some questions that I would like to discuss with him regarding his past because I feel as if they will be important moving forward in our relationship. He is willing to answer any questions that I have, but I always feel bad afterwards for asking. Should I feel bad? Is it okay for me to ask personal, sensitive questions like this? Are there any guidelines or principles I should keep in mind when we have discussions like this? I’m not asking for the sake of curiosity - in fact, there are many things I don’t want to know! My motivation for asking is tied to wanting to know him more (since our past definitely plays a role in who we are today) and being able to talk through my fears or insecurities about his sexual past.
I would love any thoughts, guidelines, or advice that you can offer. Thank you!