Conversion to Catholic with an Evangelical wife?


Of course, on a Catholic forum, you can understand how the majority of the posters will be supportive of conversions to Christianity.


Of course - I was just injecting a certain “What if it happened to you?” into the discussion. I suspect that as many catholics are ‘victims’ of spousal conversion as the other way around and I expect that there are boards elsewhere where prospective conversions from Catholicism are given support and books are suggested for winning over their spouses to their new religious perspective.

I just think that, whether one supports the conversion or not, sympathy should be shown to the feelings of shock, emptiness and betrayal that the spouse might feel.


‘victims’…that is cute:D

I will say that my prayers are with you JPatton, and anyone else struggling through this in your marriages. It is tough–marriage–without having to deal with fundamental religious differences. I will pray that it all works out for the best, JPatton. I told my husband last night that we take this for granted, in our marriage…the fact that we were both cradle Catholics, and never have this as an issue in our marriage. Not that this makes or breaks a marriage…but it can break it, I would imagine, if one or the other really grows apart because of his/her faith. It is just interesting to me to see how many out there in the world, have these issues. I pray that it all works out for you.


Hope this makes you feel better. It put a smile on my face. :smiley: The other night, I visited a parish for mass and while I was signing the visitor’s book, several people came over to chat with me. One of the ladies asked if I was converting, and I said “well…dh definitely wouldn’t like that.” She told me that one of the members of the choir was in the same situation of wanting to convert but dh was against it totally. This lady joined the choir before her conversion, and now she and her hubby are practicing Catholics! :thumbsup:

Just keep praying and talking is all I can say. I know just what you’re going through with the whole mixed marriage, religion changing thing. In the end though, I agree with the posters that said you must choose God over man.



Things are great but when Catholicism is discussed it can be tense. We write to each other alot and give each other evidence of why we believe. This seems to be easier for her. She can get really frustrated when debating issues. I think I’m doing ok with how kind and charitable I am during our talks, thanks to God! Things could be alot worse!

She believes I must think she is eternally damned because of my beliefs. I’ve shown her the scriptural evidence of the Churches teachings but she does’nt believe them. She says that the CC’s teachings are all man made and begin with the Counsil of Trent. I showed her many ECF writings to prove the Church’s beliefs were in practice way before the Counsil and she says they are not valid to her because they are not scripture. The list could go on, worshiping the Pope, Mary and Saints, the Rosary being unbiblical and idol worship, the CC’s history not the Church since Christ, the real presence and worshiping bread and wine… on and on. To her the CC is not biblical.

I continue to show her love and we always pray together and for each other. I still attend her (still our) non-denom church but I have been attending afternoon Mass on base too. (I’m a SSgt in the USAF Reserves). She is most scared about when we have kids and what problems might arrise.

Just a quick story about Mass a few weeks ago. During Mass while everyone was reciting a prayer the entire congregation was holding hands lifted halfway up in the air. Down each row of pews everyone was holding hands and in prayer! It was a scene out of an Evangelical church. It was beautiful, something I’ve never witnessed at Mass!

God Bless everyone here!


My comments are below in red, Jamie…hope all is well tonight.:slight_smile:


Would your wife be willing to read some of the “Evangelicals and Catholics Together” materials (found in First Things magazine)? It might help to show that there IS common ground and we don’t have to call each other infidels.


This is more for GhostMan than you JPatton, but maybe my story will give both of you some hope. As an update to this my wife and I are both firmly planted in the Catholic faith today. I know the end has nothing to do with this thread but

[LEFT] #29 Oct 18, '06, 11:16 am
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Well, I was a cradle, lukewarm (at best), uncaticized Catholic. My wife and I were having problems and seemed to be distancing ourselves from each other. I was only going to church about once a month and she had started going to Calvary Chapel with a friend of hers. At some point in our healing process I agreed to go to church with her at Calvary Chapel. I went one time and knew that this service was nothing more than a oversized blown up Bible study. I now knew in my heart that the Catholic church was the true church, but could not prove it in any way, shape, or form. My wife continued to go to Calvary and I started going to the Catholic Church every week. This at the time became a setback for my wife and I. She talked me into going to talk to the Calvary Pastor, Brian Bell (yes, the one thats on the radio) He told me about him being an ex-Catholic and Bla, bla, bla. I then asked him a few questions, the only one which I remember is the last one which was why do the protestants have less books in the Bible than Catholics. Somehow I had already known that they had been removed by Luther and had always been part of the Catholic Bible. Brian’s reply to me seemed really weak. About a month Later my wife returned with me to the Catholic church, only to bring us together and not have our faith as a stumbling block to our marriage. We went on like this for a couple of years, I was just happy that God had answered my prayers, but I still had this little burning desire to prove that the Catholic church was the true church. Unfortunately I kept putting it off until one day outside of church these two guys are standing at a table asking for volunteers to fly down to Acapulco to build a Church and housing for some nuns and seminarians. I was drawn to this table from the point that I walked out of the church doors. The guys explained to me that this was for some priest named Father Pablo Straub. At this point I only knew him as a visiting priest who had said mass at our church a couple of months prior. The trip was 5 days of hard work and spiritual growth for me and after the trip one of the guys Frank loaned me a book to read, Catholicism and Fundamentalism, by you know who and have since read: Theology for beginners, by Frank Sheed, A Father Who Keeps His Promises, by Scott Hahn, Scriputure Matters, by Scott Hahn, Surprised by Truth, By Patrick Madrid, More Catholic than the Pope, By Patrick Madrid, Four Witnesses (The Early Church in Her own Words), By Rod Bennett, Early Christian Writings, From Penguin Classics, and am now reading One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic (The Early Church was the Catholic Church) By Kenneth Whitehead. I’ve bought so many Tapes and Cd’s from St Joseph Comm. and others places that I started this past February to see if I could listen to all of them within a years time while driveing home from work which is about 6 hours per week and I still have 12 Cd’s till I’m done.
I look back often and realize that had my wife not gone to Calvary Chapel that the little spark inside of me may have never been fanned into the fire that it is today. In a nutshell thats how I became a Catholic Defender



OP, also try

Marcus Grodi’s Coming Home Network offers support for converts - particularly protestant ministers converting to catholicism but also dealing with spouses//family members, etc.

God bless you on your journey.


I’m kind of in the same situations but reversed in a way. My girlfriend is an Evangelical, she just entered into the faith about 3 years ago. I was born and raised catholic. We’ve been talking about marriage, she is concerned about signing papers and raising children as Catholic which she isn’t since she won’t be able to participate in the faith with our children. I’ve downloaded and read a lot of the apologetic stuff here and online.

Our problem I believe, she introduced religion to her home. Her mom has fallen absorbed in anti-catholic material. Her father has a firm grudge against the Catholic church not sure why, authority issues I belive.

What I’ve come to relize is when dealing with anti-catholics start with common ground. All Christian based idology shares something in common with the Catholic Church. Use common ground to build up your case. DO NOT ARGUE points just layout what you believe. When dealing with strangers some Argueing may be ok, but when dealing with loved ones do not argue. Accepting a new belief system can be taxing on an individual’s mind that has opposition to the belief system already in place. Take time with her and don’t force feed her. Love her and make sure she sees Christ working within you.

You should contact your local parish and get information on the RCIA program. Do a double church sunday. One at the Catholic Church and one at her church.

Good Luck and God Bless.


Even if my husband (devout Catholic) converted to the Moonies I wouldn’t divorce him. I would pray and fast, do everything I was capable of to lovingly encourage him to return to the true church but I would not divorce him.


I’m sure a lot of people, especially Catholics because of the teaching on divorce, would agree with you.

I’m just saying what I’d do - I have a Jewish home and I wouldn’t have that disrupted just because my husband decided to belong to some other religion, I wouldn’t accommodate that in any way whatsoever, there could be no middle ground.


A protestant losing her or his foothold on the family faith would be turned upside down. One side you’re not considering is her family. She probably is like my wife, fearful of them finding out that she’s converted. Family ties are strong with some people. Fortuneately, God protected in my journey away from the Church into her Church, the Church of Christ. Only 1 of her 8 siblings know of her conversion. We, Church of Christ Christians, typically do circles around people in scripture, however, when you get away from the Church it all changes. Once you recognized that “Culture” that was washed out of the Catholic/Orthodox faith by the Protestant Reformation you have no basis for your faith. Bible only does not work in and of itself. The bible even depends on sacred Tradition. Look up Paul’s writings together with your wife, 2 Thes 2:15. There are a number of very Catholic scriptures that are undeniably Catholic/Orthodox in nature. Ask the simple question…“do you believe in the Holy Trinity”? The answer to this follows, “Yes”…then you say “why?” Show me in the bibile. There are many things that are rooted in Tradtion. The canon of scriptures would not be here as is without the Sacred Tradition. Martin Luther, who didn’t mean to defect, but was excommunicated, went to confession and said a prayer to Mary right before he died.

Jimmy Akin broke that Camel’s back when I said on Catholic Answers Radio one day “would you leave Peter because of Judas?” I wept like a baby, went upstairs in my house to the family room and told my wife that I had to “GO HOME”. Doing so with a Church of Christ Christian is like announcing I know our marriage is about to end. She looked at me and told me several things she had been reading along with me and said that, much like your wife, what I thought Catholics believed is not what the Church teaches and so far what I’ve read actually makes sense, like you. The truth is that many hate the Catholic Church of what they believe it is but there are only a handfull that do for what it actually teaches [Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen]. Protestants are our separated brothers and sister.

I fell away from Catholicism because of the priest abuses. I’m a former seminarian that wishes like H E L L the bishop would have pastored to me more to help me deal with what happened to me. That priest is no longer a priest. My turning him in for trying to make an unwanted pass on me during my sleep seemed to cause the Diocese to marginalize me just in case I made a big to do out of it. Well, they were right…I made such a big to do out of it I ran and lost my virginity as soon as I could out of fear and lived like a luke warm Catholic for about 5 years, joining the military to run run run not only from this but my SSPX father and anti-Catholic mom. During the 1 year of the mililtary it became quite clear that God was calling me back to the priesthood, however, I despirately did not want to be looked at as some kind of pedifile or homosexual after what I saw in the seminary and in the clergy. I saw many bad things. I told God that if he brought me a good faithful Catholic woman faithful to the Church I would know he didn’t want me to be a priest. I consecrated my life to becoming a priest. Later, I transfer to the states… {the is the short version and I’m trying to set some time aside to write a book about my journey}


Back to point: I left the Church because even my catechesis was horrible and the very poor example of the Catholics in the Church not to mention the clergy, many of whom have been laicized now, caused me to incorrectly believe that this couldn’t possibly be the true Church. This is also what Protestants see. Many Catholics tell them wrong answers and could reference scripture with a gun to their heads. But this is the bridge I finally not only came to cross but learned how to build. Just because someone can’t explain something doesn’t mean they are in the wrong church. It just means they are pathetically poorly educated in the faith. That’s why so many Catholics are so confused. Think about this. From the beginning with the canon of scriptures to root out Aerianism (spelling?) the issues of which scriptures are inspired and why. During the time of Christ, it was understood by all when the canon of scripture was declaired. The 7 books missing in the Protestant bibles came not in the first translation of the KJV, but much later. The original King James Version contained the deuterocanonical books that Protestants call the apocrypha. It’s historical fact. The same is true about all of the pre-Trent history. Many Protestants act like you have to know BCV, church of Christ for book chapter verse, in order to be considered an expert of scripture. Do you know that BCV was added by a Catholic only in the half of the milinium? I could write a book on this now. But you get the idea. You wife is scared not of the Catholic Church teachings, but what she believes the Catholic Church teaches. Pray and try to expose her bit by bit. If there is no hope, I’d seriously hesitate to raise a family…but that’s the fear in me talking. If you really love her, be patient and set a good example once you begin to understand more fully.


[quote=vocatio;3069969"…I wept like a baby, went upstairs in my house to the family room and told my wife that I had to “GO HOME”. Doing so with a Church of Christ Christian is like announcing I know our marriage is about to end…

Wow, you sure nailed that. I was just informed about half an hour ago that he would not allow me to go to my RCIA class on Thursday evening & if I did, he would divorce me. I’m feeling just pretty…well, I can’t find a word to describe it. Please pray for us.


I know these situations are’nt easy. I will br praying for you! God Bless you!



I would stay married to him not because I’m Catholic but because I love him. It would be hard, and I would be very distressed but he is the love of my life. I’m not trying to be harsh or rude - I couldn’t just turn my feelings on and off like that though.


I’m so sorry, you have my prayers.



Take the time to find a Catholic Radio Station and find EWTN on cable or satelite. Marcos Grodi “The Journey Home” comes on at 7:00 P.M. Central Time. Go to the and look up the coming home network. There you will find at least 2 or 3 archived programs with former Church of Christ members. I’ve spoken personally with 2, Bruce Sullivan and the other is Fr. Ben. They are both really good men from what I know. …emergency got to go…kids.


Certainly he realizes that in the CoC you can’t divorce “except for adultery”? That’s not very CoC of him.

And I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this…it is so hard for CoC family to understand. I was nearly disowned by my own CoC parents for becoming Catholic.

I’ll certainly keep you in my prayers! :hug3:

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