Merry Christmas to all! I hope everyone had a Blessed Advent Season and is enjoying the joyful season Christmastide when we celebrate the Incarnation of Our Lord on earth, bringing to climax the cause of our redemption!
I have a very personal and deep-seated problem I am suffering from and this Advent Season has made it very clear to me.
I am a convert (Tiber Swim Team 2012). I come from a Non-Catholic family…dad is a lapsed Catholic and mother isn’t particularly religious. She isn’t an agnostic or a militant atheist, she just doesn’t enjoy talking about religion or spirituality in general. I’m in the Navy and am enjoying my first Christmas at home in two years after being deployed overseas last year. I am incredibly happy to be home with my entire family and the rest and relaxation of the Holidays are preparing me to get back to work in the Navy and to get back to sea.
However, I feel as though I’m being pulled in two separate directions. My family regards nothing as sacred and while enjoying some time at a microbrewery this afternoon played a rather vulgar game called Cards Against Humanity. For those of you who don’t know, it is filled with coarse, vulgar, inappropriate, callous, and even blasphemous jokes and statements. I didn’t know what it was at first, but I had an idea when my family described it to me. Not wanting to make a scene, I played, but tried my best to not make any inappropriate jokes. My family however, did not do so and made several, a few of which, I am ashamed, I laughed at.
I feel as though my family is pulling me in one direction and my Faith another. I also fret to tell my family my true feelings out of fear they would be offended. I regard Our Lord, Our Lady, the saints, the Church Militant, et al as family. As an example, I believe my mother would be deeply offended that I regard Our Lady as my spiritual mother.
In essence, I feel a complete disconnect to my family on a spiritual level and love them as much as I do, I feel a little spiritual conflict whenever I spend a prolonged period of time with them. Profanity, the use of Our Lord’s name in vein, coarse joking…these are all normal and acceptable in my family, but are things I’ve grown to not partake in as I’ve grown in the Faith.
I don’t mean to be a downer this close to Christmas, but does anyone have some basic suggestions on how to manage? I think this may be one of my crosses to bear and I’m trying as best I can to pick up my cross, deny myself, and follow after Our Lord as He instructed…this is just a little more difficult for me than the sins I’ve struggled with in the past…it’s a little more personal.
Merry Christmas all. Hope everyone has a blessed Christmastide and the blessings of Our Lord and Lady are with you all!