thank you everyone for your support. I saw all of my nieces/nephews this summer. DH’s side from FL (niece/nephew) and Syracuse (niece/nephew) in July and sister w/family in June for all 4 of their birthdays.
They are all very busy with sports, dancing, and studies during the school year (Ella & Timmy still have a few yrs. before they have to go) but I am always up-to-date on how they are doing via emails and phone calls.
I live up north w/Lake Ontario right across the street from me. If the weather isn’t bad, my folks and sister will come up but if it’s bad, everyone will stay home. DH has to work both Xmas Eve and Day so I am thinking about maybe seeing everyone on one of his days off so he can see the kids.
I just found out from my sister that our cousin Kim (she is the daughter of our deceased Uncle who passed away 2 yrs. ago–son of my grandma) made a comment to her re: that she should be getting something from my grandma’s inheritance. My sister and I are so angry :mad: right now because grandma didn’t have much $$$and what she had…mainly some furniture and old photos went to my mom and her sister. We were blessed by the things she made us while growing up…crocheted Barbie clothes, booties, blankets, afghans, etc. I have some of my best memories staying at her home in the big feather bed w/my sister, playing cards, and gram’s home made Polish food. Gram was really hurt by how her son & his family treated her yet, she always showed them lots of love & compassion.
Our 2 cousins never had anything to do at all w/ grandma and when she became ill, no calls, no letters, nothing. For some reason, they along with my aunt & uncle didn’t like my grandma at all. Yet, whenever they heard that she was having a holiday dinner for the entire family they’d show up, eat, and then leave. Very rude to say the least. Whenever a big event happens for one of the girls (graduation, wedding, birthday) then we get an invitation. In between times, they don’t talk to us at all. I’ve tried calling Kim a few times after her dad died & a few months ago, but she never returned my calls.
She is having a baby in March & dropping hints what she wants for the nursery. She tried to get my sister to give her some of the stuff she has for free but Michele told her that she wasn’t giving her kids things away at all. I know that she’s going to have more than 1 (yes that’s right) and we’ll probably get an invitation. I really do not want to go for the above reasons plus the fact that I am not allowed to drive in the winter at all due to my stroke (doctor’s strict orders) and money is very tight for me & DH.
I can’t take all this stuff right now. I am stressed enough as it is. I just want to get through this holidays, get my fistula to heal, & be there for my mom, sister, and DH.
Would it be wrong for me to respectfully decline and not give a gift based upon my circumstances? I know that I should treat her like I want to be treated but I am tired of being contacted when either cousin wants something. Whenever I was hospitalized, my grandma was always there for me as well as my family, DH, & his family. Nothing from Kim or Jen. After my stroke, I realized who my true friends were and which family members were really there for me.
How do any of you handle family members like this when you are dealing w/the loss of a loved one plus health problems and they don’t care about what you’re going through.
Thank you again for your prayers and support.