This is a very difficult topic for me to talk about, but I am in desperate need of help.
My wife and I have been married for almost 3 years. We were like any other couple right after the wedding, I suppose. We were very passionate and intimate for about 6 months. Then sex became less and less frequent to the point after 9 months being married, my wife has refused to be intimate with me in any way for the past 2 years. I’ve tried talking to her about it and expressing my frustration, but all it leads to is a fight. She’s answered with things like she doesn’t have the same attraction to me physically as I do to her anymore, that I’m not good at it, or that sex just isn’t important to her. Also we were using NFP very effectively, but now she says the stress of engaging sexually and risking getting pregnant causes her too much anxiety. I don’t know whether to believe her or not. We both want children, at least she keeps telling me she does. I’m very frustrated to say the least. I feel so much attraction to her and it’s painful to go every day without being able to be intimate with her and living with a constant feeling of rejection. I’ve even asked if we could at least make out now and then, but she says it would be a sin. Is this true even in marriage?
I try to convince myself that I’m not attracted to her to sort of calm my urges, but with very little success. Is it proper to pray for God to take away my physical attraction to my wife? I’ve done some research and find that there are natural herbs and supplements available to reduce testosterone and lower sex drives. Would taking these be a sin?
Is there anyone else out there going through this? How do you cope?