Couple who are just friends allowed to adopt, judge says in landmark ruling


#1

[LEFT]In a first of its kind ruling in New York, a Manhattan judge has given a couple who’re just friends the green light to become legal co-parents to an adopted girl.[/LEFT]

m.nydailynews.com/1.1565408


#2

So…is this a good or bad thing?


#3

:popcorn:


#4

So the child gets to grow up between two households just like the child of a divorced couple. lovely.


#5

One more example of a broken humanity trying to normalize their brokenness.


#6

Except that these parents aren’t divorced and don’t hate each other.

I am a big believer in the idea that anyone who can provide a loving home and a reasonable standard of living should be able to adopt. I met a lot of people when I was doing my undergrad who grew up in the system and were never adopted, despite being eligible their entire lives. None of these people have families or strong support systems, and if it weren’t for their social workers I don’t know where they would be. Being adopted by friends who want to love them and give them a family would have been preferable to what they had.


#7

The problem is not that unmarried couples, gay couples, single people, and now friends are adopting. The problem is that so many kids need to be adopted and there aren’t enough “traditional” families willing and able to take them in.


#8

I agree. Not to mention the potential to have two or more extended families full of people who love and support them.


#9

Actually, no. There are plenty of traditional families who try to adopt. It’s just that they usually find the traditional process so complicated and unfriendly, that traveling to foreign countries and working with foreign bureaucracies is easier.

There’s a reason why most people in ordinary American towns know somebody who’s adopted kids from Mexico, or China, or Russia, or Vietnam, or even more exotic places. It’s not because they had some weird yen to go traipsing around the world burning cash, or because they really wanted to get to know officeworkers that don’t speak English. It’s because going downtown or going to the county is more involved, more expensive, takes longer, and requires more humiliation and ideological groveling.

(This is probably not true in all cases; but it certainly seems to be true in most of the US.)

Ironically, it’s fairly easy to become a fosterparent in most places, and seems to be especially easy if you’re some kind of drug-addled sexual abuser with gang connections. One has to wonder about social workers’ ideas of suitability, or whether it’s just a matter of outright bribes and farming out children for cash.


#10

Is it not better for the child to have a father figure, even one living apart from the mother, than none?

Two people being just friends now counts as ‘broken’? :eek:


#11

The child did have a father figure. Presumably the friend would have continued to love and support the child even if he hadnt been able to co-adopt.

My concern is that the child is being shuttled between two households. The parents also have other adults living with them who may not always want this child. I don’t see it as in anyway an ideal situation for the child.

This was also an international adoption so the question of helping a child in foster care doesn’t apply.


#12

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