Courting


#1

I am a recent revert back to the faith. I want to know more about courting otherwise know as “catholic dating”. What is this and what does it consist of? Are there any online resources that would give me more info?


#2

I was not aware that courting is called catholic dating an I’ve been a cradle catholic all my life.

Try some online searches on courting alone. The main thing to remember is that all persons should be treated with respect and dating should include activities that are pure and chaste and don’t lead to the temptation of having premarital sex. This does not exclude fun - there are lots of fun things to do to learn more about the person you are dating respectully.

I know its difficult. I know its not popular. I know its not considered “normal” in today’s society. That’s what makes it all the more respectful, beautiful, and full of sanctifying grace. We are children of God who are able to form meaningful relationships and make committments to marriage without sinning.

Good luck and hope you meet the right person. BTW look around the church organizations, choir, or youth groups you know about. It’s a lot easier to date chastely when both agree it is the right thing to do. God Bless.


#3

There is a movement among some young Catholics towards courting versus dating. This is also true among some Evangelicals.

Dating is about spending time alone with a person, for “fun”. It does not specifically seek discernment of marriage. Dating is more or less an invention of the 20th century.

Courting is centered around two things: discernment of marriage and a family context. When courting you are not alone, you are in groups or with the family. You are getting to know the person in this context and they you. The focus is on discerning God’s will and marriage.

There are some books on courting-- for example I Kissed Dating Goodbye.


#4

The book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris is an excellent book, I’m glad you mentioned it.

It would be very good if all youth ministers discussed this with the young people.

The idea of getting to know the opposite sex in groups without being “committed” to anyone in particular is a very good one.

So much time has been wasted by young people with the concept of “going steady” and all the temptations that it entails.
And, it would take a lot of pressure off of our young people.


#5

Nothing really different than usual. Just look in different places to find different traits.

I did find my fiancee on CatholicMatch.com

Good luck in your search.

Edit: Also look to any nearby Church young adult (20s, 30s,+) groups or Theology on Tap groups to look for opportunities.


#6

I really like the concept of courting, as opposed to dating. I made the decision this year to completely commit myself to chastity, and I’ve never been happier.

I’m a 20-year-old college girl, and I don’t “date” the way my friends do, because I don’t want to fall in love right now, since I consider myself far too young for marriage. Of course I understand that it is God’s will that matters, but because of my schooling and current spirtual and emotional maturity, I don’t want to consider marriage till I’m at least 26 or 27.

My friends and family, for the most part don’t get my attitude, or why I don’t date/have long-term relationships, telling me, “Well, a date is just a date,” “a kiss is just a kiss”, “you can have a romantic relationship with someone even if you know you never want to marry them”.

And maybe I’m prudish or old-fashioned, but to me, having long-term relationships with people you know you wouldn’t marry is setting yourself up for heartbreak.

And, okay, maybe I don’t have the benefits a relationship can bring to a college girl. But I don’t spend my evenings crying when they’re out with someone else, or frantic over a pregnancy scare, like my friends.

I’m trying to live chastely. And for really the first time, I am seeing that for the blessing it is.


#7

Yes, try the Pure Love Club website

pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=42

This is a website intended mainly for teenagers and young adults (I have no idea how old you are) but I think it´s got great information on chastity for everyone regardless of age


#8

Liz,

You are blessed with wisdom! Stay close to the Lord always.

Peace,

Dorothy


#9

I just want to tell you that there is no such thing as “Catholic dating”. No matter what certain people tell you, it’s not a theological thing. There is a number of websites about this subject and while some offer valuable insights, there are many full of some people’s personal ideas that are not necessarily healthy and sound, let alone theologically accurate.

Your goal is to prepare for marriage, to make sure the person you are going to marry is the right candidate and you actually can marry (no impediments etc), and to stay chaste. Read the Catechism definitions on chastity. Don’t rely on websites written by random laymen with ideas.

In order to stay chaste and to marry the right person, you don’t need to go back to the 19th century.


#10

www.godofdesire.com
Excellent site, written by a Catholic!


#11

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