My son has been courting a young lady for 1.5 years although our families have been best friends for 17 years - they will both be 22 in April 2008. They have discerned and prayed throughout the relationship and are both wearing - purchased and given by my son - True Love Waits rings as a sign of their commitment to chastity and to each other. The problem and question that my son asked me to do a bit of searching on (he is presently without internet access) is this: She just finished with college this month. She has to do an internship to actually graduate. He graduated last Spring and is employed at a job that has some possibilities for a permanent position - in fact, co-ownership of a company. Without really discussing it with him, she has decided to do some additional schooling in a town 6 hrs away from him…and hopefully do her internship there. He was rather upset when he heard this the other night and asked why she didn’t come to the town where he lives instead - the college there has the same program and also internship possibilities. Her response was that it would be improper for her to do that because it would look like she was chasing him and until they were married, it is the proper thing for him to move to wherever **she **goes.
This seems so backwards to me…and to my son. To us, the man is supposed to be taking this time before engagement and marrying to build a nest egg and prepare for being the head of the family. He can’t be leaving jobs to follow her. Are we way out of line here? Are we missing something? She said that C. West says this specifically in his books/work. I did a bit of looking today and can’t seem to find any reference to it.
Your help and insight would be appreciated.