Crisis with ex-wife


#1

Hi all, just looking for some support, guidance, answers, whatever anyone can offer at this point.

Quick recap of my situation: My wife of 4 years left me in '05 for another man (I really believe this had to do with 2 car accidents that messed her up). She didn’t stay long with him and has been away for the last three years.

this year I have seen her return to much of the same person she used to be. Well, this week she talked about getting back together and becoming a family again.

Here is the crisis situation. I have mised her and prayed for our family to return since she left, but it turns out she is now into witchcraft:( She had joked about it very rarely while she was away, but I guess it was true as she said we would have to work on and respect our different religious views.

I don’t even know what to think much less what to do. Would it be wrong for me to even attempt to reconcile if she is into witchcraft? I don’t know the extent or anything about her involvement as she hasn’t brought it up herself.


#2

This is not something that can be decided here.

My first conversation would be to my lawyer, esp. if kids are involved.

My second conversation would be to my priest.

My third would be to my therapist, preferably a Catholic one.

I would observe extreme caution. While I want to believe that she wants to get back together and be a family, I’ve known too many people who say they want to get back together, but are looking at either security issues, a place to hide out, or have a plan to hurt the former spouse.

You are going to have to have rules in place, and you should really go very slowly. The withccarft thing would make me highly suspicious about her ability to deal with reality.


#3

What Out said.

Talk to your priest and your lawyer. Only you can discern the right path to take.

If it were me, witchcraft would have on place in my home or my life. Period.


#4

From another post of yours from a while back, you wrote that your marriage had been declared null. She has been adulterous and is now into witchcraft…that’s nothing to play around with. I was just listening to an archived show with an exorcist-serious stuff.

I hope you can find a good priest to give you some perspective–that’s a lot to be dealing with.

Will keep you in my prayers.


#5

She cheated on you and now practices a pagan religion that is opposed to yours. Car wrecks can mess people up but we sitll make our own choices.

I didn’t see if kids were involved or anything… However regardless of that I would seek companionship elsewhere.

Forgive her, if you haven’t, but I would not suggest opening yourself up for being hurt again. Who is to say that another traumatic even won’t happen in a couple of years to start this all over again?

Joe


#6

I agree with Out’s advice. Also, as a PP stated, you previously posted about your marriage being annulled. Unless you plan to get married again, having your wife move back in (and resuming marital relations) without getting properly married would be wrong.

Currently you are NOT married…civilly…and most importantly…in the eyes of the Church. Your ex-wife is the mother of your daughter and I can understand that you still love your ex and would like to make things work. However, from what you have said about the 2 accidents, the infidelity, and the witchcraft, I don’t think now is the time to get back together and look at getting married in the church (which is what you would morally have to do if you “got back together”). I actually strongly suspect that if her behavior has been unusual in the past couple of years that it would be very difficult to have a valid marriage until there is a bit more stability in your ex-wife’s life.

I am so sorry for the situation you are in…you sound like a good man who only wants to be a husband and father. :thumbsup: Be strong for your daughter…my prayers are with both of you!


#7

Here is another vote for OutinChgoburbs’ advice.

While this place can give some good guidance at times, this is a very serious issue and no suggestions, conclusions or advice can be given based on the small amount of information you can put in a forum post.

Prayer is important and so is keeping a family intact. However, there are many issues involved and no one here can really be a decent guide. You need pastoral guidance.

May God grant you grace, peace and wisdom in your search for the correct course of action.


#8

I also see that you posted this question to “Ask an Apologist” and Fr. Serpa answered.

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=243068


#9

Would your ex wife be open to meeting with a priest to discuss problems that would be inevitable in that type of relationship? Perhaps that might inspire her to consider the direction of her worship. Find a really good spiritual director, you may have to talk to your priest and see if he would be willing to meet with the two of you or if he knows of someone else who would. Your wife has certainly made a few mistakes, and this witchcraft direction could be the direct result of being in such a bad place. You may be able to help her out so much at this point in her life.
If there is any possible way to bring your family together, and bringing your wife to the faith, it would be wonderful.
I will keep you guys in my prayers.


#10

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