I’ve written this post something like 7 times in the last month or so, and I think I need to just post it…this is a tough subject for me.
I’m just gonna say it - I have two scars on my left arm from trying to kill myself. I hate them. Everything about them reminds me of a terrible mistake I can’t change and an ongoing fight that I know I will fight my whole life. I am closer to God than I ever have been, and I know with Him (and medical intervention and therapy, both of which are very active parts of my life) I can fight the fight and finish the race right. It’s just…when I am fighting hard, and I see them, I slip into despair so easily.
I want to get a tattoo next to them. They are impossible to cover because of their size and location but I believe that getting a very small, modest cross tattoo next to them will draw my eyes away from them and to the cross to remember who I really am. That I am not this mistake, or these scars, but someone treasured. I also feel like the tattoo would draw others’ eyes away from them and to the cross as well. I’m very self conscious about them. I was thinking something like this:
Here’s the sticky part. My husband hates tattoos and really doesn’t want me to get one. The other issue is I am a teacher in a public school. What are your thoughts?