Cry Room Reform?

OMG, I would have been staying home with my 2 year old rather than going to Mass. He could make it about 10 min before he needed to be up and moving. I could log 2K-3K steps with him in an hour.

I guess my n=1 experience is different…¯_(ツ)_/¯

Two of my three kids were very active. Around 4 our oldest was really good about sitting, our middle son was earlier, and our 3 year old is still a “wild card”. For our oldest and now youngest it wasn’t/isn’t the terrible 2’s but the terrible 3’s. Having a place to take them is a need.

The two oldest rarely had problems once they got to that kindergarten age. Kids are different…

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Between my own kids, kids in my mega-parish, and many nieces and nephews . . . . well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree. :slight_smile:

For me, the earlier Mass is more a matter of getting the husband out of bed and dressed . . . :rofl:


I agree that kids are different and there are exceptions to the rule. I had some kids who were very active. By the time they were 2 they knew how to behave in mass. We had to come up with some tricks at times. For example, we would typically promise a treat after mass if everyone behaved, and the treats were never bought for any kid if anyone misbehaved. That typically did the trick, as even a two year old did not want the other kids on his case as to why they didn’t get their ice cream or candy. Also, we found that taking away a reward seems to be a much more memorable/effective means than some type of punishment.

We had a one year old who would not sit still in mass with his mother, but he would with me. We sat on opposite sides of a crowded church for a couple of months.

But I have two siblings who always had a cry room they used and their kids did not behave even when they were 5 or 6 in mass. Our kids and my sibling who also did not have utilize a cry room had kids who would behave by the time they were three.

Watching other young families in church, I am sure I am typically correct. And I have a grandson who is now almost 4 and he behaves very well in mass. Has for the last couple of years.

Eh, I guess I’d have to disagree. We had to utilize the “gathering space” with our oldest and now youngest. Oldest didn’t have an issue by the time he was 4ish. Our middle son never needed to step out once, at any age. Our youngest, who’s 3 now, can do OK. Most of the time he can behave for an hour, but he’s getting into his terrible 3’s where I think we’re going to start having issues.

I don’t agree that the issue is the availability of a “cry” room but difference in parenting style and the kids.

There were different stages of childhood when we tag teamed if we had too, i/e., one of us stayed home with the toddler while the other went. I didn’t start taking my baby until she was 6 months old. She was a winter baby and I was trying to keep her healthy as much as possible. At 6 months old she was great, depending on the time of day. That’s something else that was always being adjusted…the time we went to mass was generally not the time of day that she was bouncing off the walls, wanting to play.

Caveat: I only have one child and she wasn’t hyperactive. There were times when I took her to Sat 5pm and she fell asleep in the pew. Mostly we went to 9am after she was fed and if I took a bag of things too occupy her, it was fine. coloring books, etc that she didn’t see except during church (so she wouldn’t be bored with them). Each family has to figure out what works best for them and run with it. Kudos to the families that are multi-kid and attend every week together! That’s patience for sure!

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