I need to sound you out about something.
We have a 19 yo son. He has had some girlfriends and we have been concerned as to how chaste these relationships are. We have expressed out concerns to him and they are met with denial or hostility.
We had a curfew of 10 pm as we were concerned with him spending too much time with his girlfriend. He stayed out once to 3 pm which was why we enforced the curfew. For the most part he has abided by it. His girl friend dumped him much to our relief - this was about 3 months ago. Recently we have been observing the same behaviors in him when he has a girl friend - away from home for long periods of time and vagueness about where he is going. He says he is studying with friends, working or at the gym. Sometimes he is hanging out with friends. We have expressed concerns that we do not know where he is and if something happens to him we have no idea where he is, who he is with or any contact information.
Thursday he stayed out till 2 am. In the morning I said he was grounded and he was only to leave home to go to school. He announced he was moving out.
My wife panicked and spoke to him and believes that he will respect his curfew from now on.
She believes that you can’t ground a 19 yo. I feel that if we can’t force him to abide by our rules
- going to mass
- no bad language
- abiding by his curfew
he can walk all over us. My wife feels that if he leaves home he is lost forever and we can’t encourage him to lead a moral life or complete school.
Am I being unreasonable in my curfew expectations? Can we ground a 19 yo? If he refuses to abide by our grounding rules are we right by asking him to leave. I am going to spend time prayerfully discerning with my wife what to do, but want to sound you out on it.