Ok. This thread has been fermenting for one day. That is totally unacceptable, people.
Ok. It’s time for fresh coffee. Well, not fresh, but properly aged coffee.
Some coffee beans, dumpster dive coffee grounds, kale, jelly fish, koala poop, a bucket of water from the lagoon. Added a bit of garlic to correct the taste.
You might need to add a bit of extra creamer to this batch. Test spoon stood up for quite a while before finally disolving.