Cursillo Stress


#1

I need some advice. I have been planning on attending my 1st Cursillo this weekend. I was very excited originally, now however it is a different story. My wife, who is Catholic, has been dropping comments here and there about my leaving for the next 4 days. Stuff like “I could never be away for the kids that long”, “I guess I’ll just take the kids to the events we have this weekend”, “I’m just going to return the movie I rented for us, since it will be due back, before you are home”. I know this makes her sound very spiteful and trying to make me feel guilty (and I do feel guilty). She is a fantastic wife, I couldn’t ask for a more wonderful woman to share my life with. I think it may have to do with us trying to have a baby. She could of sworn she was pregnant, but after 2 tests it’s still a negative. I know she a little upset over it, but we just started trying. She won’t really get into her feeling other than she is a little disappointed. she doesn’t talk about her feeling much. I’m not sure if she’s just taking those feelings and putting them into making me feel bad about leaving. But I’m seriously considering calling my parish priest and canceling. The problem with that is, I think that will make her upset to. But I also think maybe we need some time together to talk things out and my leaving for the entire weekend, will not help that. It has also crossed my mind that maybe this is exactly what Satan wants to happen. Any thoughts would be appreciated…thx


#2

If your wife is anything like me, I occasionally (my husband may disagree with the frequency ;)) become emotional, slightly scared, and maybe become a little jealous/spiteful of his freedom. This does not mean that it’s right, or that I am in any way justified in my actions towards him. Also, in my case, though I may whine, I would secretly be thrilled that my husband was taking steps to deepen his faith (though I may not show this through my actions). Have you sat down and talked to her…maybe something along the lines of “Honey, I’m worried that my going to the Cursillo is causing some stress between us and that is not what I wanted to do. I don’t look forward to the time I’ll spend away from you and the kids, but I think that this will help strengthen my faith and make me a better father and husband…etc,etc,etc.” She may not even notice the depth/effect of her attitude towards you (sometimes I just get in a “self-pity” mode and don’t even realize it until my dh brings up what it’s doing to him. I have also noticed that when we make a commitment to take a new step in faith, that’s when the temptation and short tempers often appear…and I firmly believe this is a way Satan tries to prevent us from growing closer to God…but that’s just my :twocents:

God bless!


#3

It’s hard to say what might be bothering her, but I do sort of “freak out” when my husband is leaving for a few days, especially if it’s during those rare times that we have for leisure together. I’ve always done that, even when my parents traveled when I was a child and although I’m cognizant that it is a problem for me, I’m still working on changing the behavior.

Of course, if that’s not her habit, it’s probably best if you just sit down and ask her what’s bothering her, reassure her that you will be excited to return to her after your weekend, and reiterate how important the Cursillo weekend is to you. If she’s anxious about no period/no positive pregnancy test, that is probably weighing heavily on her mind. I hope you enjoy your weekend!


#4

Thank you BOTH for the insights. I will try talking with her and see what she says. Unfortunately, she can be somewhat stubborn and may just give me 1 or 2 word answers. I too think she is just stressed from multiple things and it seems to be coming out against me and my leaving. I could understand if I was going away on a fishing weekend with my buddies or a bachelor party. I just hope that after talking to her, it will help her feel better about me leaving and me a little less guilty. I just want to make the most out of this weekend and I know I won’t if I’m stressed about her feelings and me feeling guilty. Thanks again!


#5

Tell her that the next time, you want to do a Marriage Encounter retreat with her…just for the two of you.

Tell her that by going on this Cursillo, you hope to become a better partner, but if the two of us go on a marriage retreat, the two of you will strengthen your bond as well.

Pray on it before you speak about it too.


#6

Originally there was talk of me going to this cursillo and she would attend the next one for the women, but she has already stated she will not be away from the kids that long. I think she may be more apt to go somewhere together, like a marriage encounter. Thanks for the idea! I actually went to church over my lunch and prayed about it. Afterwards, I feel better about making the choice to go. I said a prayer that she would feel better about it also. Thanks for the reply!


#7

Go and don’t let any of the guilt trips bother you. It took me years to realize the importance of retreats and going to make myself and my family stronger in the faith.
Every year there is something that tries to stop me from going. I pray let go of all the guilt and spend a prayerful weekend on retreat.


#8

Thanks Toni. I have decided I will be going and things seem more smoothed over @ the house. I’m am really looking forward to it. Thanks again for the advice!


#9

sounds like the issue for you two has nothing to do with cursillo, retreat or your spirituality in general, but is part of a longer on-going debate about family time vs individual time, and if you were my child asking advice I would tell you to address the real issue and make sure each person’s need for personal time is respected, and family time together is also a priority.

one of our confirmation parents gave me very good advice recently. She is having a harder time with family prayer time since teenagers are on such busy schedules, but she makes sure she goes into her own room alone at 9 every night for her own personal prayer, makes sure her family respects this unless there is a life-threatening emergency. both her children have told me how big an impression this habit has made on them, and how it has helped them make time for personal prayer. This mom reminded me if the parents to not make their own spiritual growth a priority they will never be able to lead their families in this direction.


#10

You can’t push her, and the Marriage encounter weekend is a great idea, but I encourage you to continue to pray that she will have the opportunity to go on a Cursillo. Take the initiative to make sure the children will be well cared for in her absence–either by taking off work again yourself, or by making arrangements for a favorite babysitter. The Cursillo weekend is wonderful and it helped my husband and I very much in our growth in faith that we had both experienced it.


#11

Thank you both for the advice and thoughts. I appreciate it very much.

I just got back from Cursillo #199 in Hermitage, PA and WOW! I could go on and on about my experience there. But that will be for another thread. I just wanted to update everyone who has read my post regarding the stress before my Cursillo trip. There is no more stress, not for myself or my wife. When I got home last night we had a very nice talk. Basically she knew I had to go, because this was the path God placed before me.She just had a little trouble accepting that fact, cause she loves me so much and has never been away from me that long of a period before. Don’t get me wrong I missed her and my kids too, very very much. We agreed it was a good thing to like each other that much, that you do not want to be away from them. The good news is she is even thinking about going to the next womens Cursillo!! again thank you all for your insights, they were all thought about and appreciated!

DE COLORES!!!


#12

I go on a silent retreat once a year, not Cursillo, spiritual exercises. Dh doesn’t mind because he knows I come back a better person! —KCT


#13

DeColores!


#14
  1. De colores, de colores se visten los campos en la primavera.
    De colores, de colores son los pajaritos que vienen de afuera.
    De colores, de colores es el arco iris que vemos lucir.

Estribillo
Y por eso los grandes amores de muchos colores me gustan a mí.
Y por eso los grandes amores de muchos colores me gustan a mí.

  1. De colores, sí, de blanco y negro y rojo, y azul y castaño.
    Son colores, son colores de gente que ríe, y estrecha la mano.
    Son colores, son colores de gente que sabe de la libertad. Estribillo

  2. De colores, de colores son esos paisajes que visten la aurora.
    De colores, de colores son las maravillas que el sol atesora.
    De colores, de colores es el arco iris que vemos lucir. Estribillo

English Lyrics:

  1. All the colors, yes the colors we see in the springtime with all the of its flowers.
    All the colors, when the sunlight shines out through a rift in the cloud and it showers.
    All the colors, as a rainbow appears when a storm cloud is touched by the sun.

Chorus
All the colors abound for the whole world around and for ev’ryone under the sun.
All the colors abound for the whole world around and for ev’ryone under the sun.

  1. All the colors, yes the colors of people parading on by with their banners.
    All the colors, yes the colors of pennants and streamers and plumes and bandannas.
    All the colors, yes the colors of people now taking their place in the sun. Chorus

  2. All the colors, yes the black and the white and the red and the brown and the yellow.
    All the colors, all the colors of people who smile and shake hands and say "Hello!"
    All the colors, yes the colors of people who know that their freedom is won. Chorus


#15
  1. De colores, de colores se visten los campos en la primavera.
    De colores, de colores son los pajaritos que vienen de afuera.
    De colores, de colores es el arco iris que vemos lucir.

Estribillo
Y por eso los grandes amores de muchos colores me gustan a mí.
Y por eso los grandes amores de muchos colores me gustan a mí.

  1. De colores, sí, de blanco y negro y rojo, y azul y castaño.
    Son colores, son colores de gente que ríe, y estrecha la mano.
    Son colores, son colores de gente que sabe de la libertad. Estribillo

  2. De colores, de colores son esos paisajes que visten la aurora.
    De colores, de colores son las maravillas que el sol atesora.
    De colores, de colores es el arco iris que vemos lucir. Estribillo

English Lyrics:

  1. All the colors, yes the colors we see in the springtime with all the of its flowers.
    All the colors, when the sunlight shines out through a rift in the cloud and it showers.
    All the colors, as a rainbow appears when a storm cloud is touched by the sun.

Chorus
All the colors abound for the whole world around and for ev’ryone under the sun.
All the colors abound for the whole world around and for ev’ryone under the sun.

  1. All the colors, yes the colors of people parading on by with their banners.
    All the colors, yes the colors of pennants and streamers and plumes and bandannas.
    All the colors, yes the colors of people now taking their place in the sun. Chorus

  2. All the colors, yes the black and the white and the red and the brown and the yellow.
    All the colors, all the colors of people who smile and shake hands and say "Hello!"
    All the colors, yes the colors of people who know that their freedom is won. Chorus


#16

I am very glad that you had a wonderful retreat. They are great for the soul and the marriage.:slight_smile:


#17

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