I don’t really know what to make of the situation I’m in right now. First I’ll explain the history.
I am 19. My parents are divorced. My dad has always been very liberal with my younger sisters and I, to say the least. Despite raising my sisters and I Catholic (sending us to Catholic school, taking us to Mass every Sunday) my dad always told me that having sex before marriage was “normal” and “to be expected” and when I was 16 and in my first relationship I had sex. After a mix up with the pill that I thought had been a miscarriage, my dad made the rule that I always had to be on birth control. When I was 17 and in another relationship my dad asked me if I wanted a lock on my door and let my boyfriend and I spend as much time in my room as we wanted. At this time I didn’t consider myself to be Catholic.
When I was 17 I decided I wanted to be Catholic again and my boyfriend and I stopped having sex. I told my dad this because I was very proud of myself and all he did was laugh at me and say that it wasn’t going to last ( my “chastity kick” as he called it). And he still had the rule for me to be on birth control, but as I didn’t want to be putting that into my body I just told him I was on it, would buy it, but wouldn’t take it.
Fast forward to now. The guy that I stopped having sex with and I have broken up. He turned out to be very controlling and my parents are now paranoid that any man I date will try to run my life. I am dating a wonderful Catholic friend of mine who is committed to chastity as well. I am currently backpacking in Europe by myself.
My dad is very upset that I am dating Pat. In my dad’s mind, if I am dating Pat then I won’t “live life to the fullest” (I am sure we can all figure out what he means by that). But in reality I am living life to the fullest. I am having a blast, going out with friends and having a great time, the only thing I’m not doing is having a string of hookups and meaningless relationships that are somehow supposed to give me “real live experience”.
My dad is so against Pat and I dating that he won’t let Pat drive me out to University in the fall (I’m going to University in another city). My dad would rather pay for me to fly than have me spend any time at all with Pat. My mom likes Pat a lot. She sees that he pushes me to be a better person. I just want my dad to give Pat and I a break, but how do I tell him to back off without being disrespectful???
Oh and now my dad is probably going to start letting/making my little sisters go on birth control. I take full responsibility for the sins I committed and I know that they are my fault, not my father’s. But at the same time, I probably wouldn’t have done that had I not been given free range to do so. How do I explain to him that this style of parenting is bad???