Date advice


#1

Hello there,
So I'm 16 and I recently met a girl and I really like her. I asked her out on a date and she agreed. Just wondering if I should kiss her on our date?? I really care for her and want to kiss her (not passionately) . Any advice and please some balance-minded people! No offence, I luv Jesus above everything and adhere to the magisterium of the Church but I want balanced advice not people who are too extreme. God Bless now!!
P.S. dunno where I should put this post so.......


#2

I would hold off on the kissing until you've gotten further into the relationship. Kisses are special, in my opinion. I'm 17, so I have experience in this area. When you hold off until the relationship is stronger, it makes the kiss that much more meaningful. Just my thoughts. :)


#3

[quote="iluvmusic2013, post:2, topic:309559"]
I would hold off on the kissing until you've gotten further into the relationship. Kisses are special, in my opinion. I'm 17, so I have experience in this area. When you hold off until the relationship is stronger, it makes the kiss that much more meaningful. Just my thoughts. :)

[/quote]

                                ^

perfect advice, people today try to rush these things waaay too fast,


#4

As dating is the precursor to marriage, unless you're at the point in your life where you're ready and able to settle down and support a family, you should just avoid dating altogether.


#5

I'd hold off on the kissing.

Not because I think it would necessarily be a sin if it's an authentic expression of affection. But, you don't want to move too fast and get carried away by your emotions, which premature physical affection can contribute to. That, and I agree with iluvmusic's sentiment ;)


#6

[quote="seanom, post:1, topic:309559"]
Hello there,
So I'm 16 and I recently met a girl and I really like her. I asked her out on a date and she agreed. Just wondering if I should kiss her on our date?? I really care for her and want to kiss her (not passionately) . Any advice and please some balance-minded people! No offence, I luv Jesus above everything and adhere to the magisterium of the Church but I want balanced advice not people who are too extreme. God Bless now!!
P.S. dunno where I should put this post so.......

[/quote]

I agree with DeoGratias42. I'd also recommend a copy of Thomas G. Morrow's Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World.


#7

Hi seanom,

I'm not in the extreme camp when it comes to the subject of kissing. I don't see any harm in it, especially if the kisses are brief.:shrug: If you feel you have difficulty with restraint though, you could always make sure you don't kiss her until you have walked her to the front door of her house - that way, you *know *it won't get too amorous.;)

You also shouldn't feel any pressure to do it on the first date. Nothing wrong with waiting a while before becoming more intimate.


#8

I would take it slow. No need to rush things. I found in my previous relationship that it was part of the problem - he wanted to move things a lot faster than I did and really, at least to me, it caused a bit of angst for me.

But that being said, if you know her well enough, and you just want to give her a peck on the cheek or whatever, it doesn't hurt to ask. But be conscious of her feelings as well as your own.


#9

"If you have difficulty with restraint..." the kid is 16! What teenager doesn't have difficulty with restraint? Heck, even 30-somethings can have difficulty with restraint.

I would avoid kissing until later in the relationship. And I agree that dating is a precursor to marriage. Why do teens need to be in a serious relationship? This is a time in your life when you need to focus on school and future career preparation. If you want to go out, I would recommending hanging out in groups. Get to know her as a person and be a good friend to her before dating seriously.

Dating one-on-one at this age is simply an occasion to sin. I don't know what the rules are for the church in Ireland, but here in the U.S. the minimum age to get married in the Catholic Church is 20. That is four years away! Four years is a long time and young people change a lot in four years. Not to mention, even at 20 most people still aren't ready for marriage. People are still in college and after college there is grad school and/or more career training (depending on what field you go into). Make a good life for yourself so that when the time comes when God sends you your wife you will be ready to give her and your future children what they deserve. :thumbsup:


#10

Please, please, please hold off on physical contact for some time. I understand that a kiss can be chaste and innocent, but physical contact like that those not belong to a first date. I think it will make your lady friend more comfortable if you do not put her in a situation in which she feels like she is forced to reciprocate your enthusiasm (at 16, it's much more difficult to say no).

Wait for a awhile. Wait until you are ready to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. A date does not necessary mean you are boyfriend and girlfriend, but a trend of dating and a deeper connection will get you both to that point. Trust me, you will both appreciate it more if you just be patient. I am 25 and I was uncomfortable when a nice Catholic guy put his arm around me on our first date a few weeks ago, and I have been been actively dating for 7 years. I have kissed on the first date, and it more often than not feels awkward and forced. Get a feel for whether this is simply a date or whether the girl is truly relationship material.


#11

[quote="seanom, post:1, topic:309559"]
Hello there,
So I'm 16 and I recently met a girl and I really like her. I asked her out on a date and she agreed. Just wondering if I should kiss her on our date?? I really care for her and want to kiss her (not passionately) . Any advice and please some balance-minded people! No offence, I luv Jesus above everything and adhere to the magisterium of the Church but I want balanced advice not people who are too extreme. God Bless now!!
P.S. dunno where I should put this post so.......

[/quote]

What iluvmusic said.

Have a good time! ;)


#12

Why not just go out to a movie, or do something with a group of friends?
"Dating" is such an over-used, non needed thing these days, especially at 16. Go out, have fun with friends and you dont have to be so 'nervous' around another single person. Much harder to do something 'wrong' or something unable to be laughed off when with a whole group of others. I'd have to say, for me when I was that age, more fun, too!


#13

[quote="Big_Feet, post:12, topic:309559"]
Why not just go out to a movie, or do something with a group of friends?
"Dating" is such an over-used, non needed thing these days, especially at 16. Go out, have fun with friends and you dont have to be so 'nervous' around another single person. Much harder to do something 'wrong' or something unable to be laughed off when with a whole group of others. I'd have to say, for me when I was that age, more fun, too!

[/quote]

I find the opposite is true for me... I get nervous in groups if I'm with someone I like, but not if we're alone together.


#14

"If you have difficulty with restraint..." the kid is 16! What teenager doesn't have difficulty with restraint? Heck, even 30-somethings can have difficulty with restraint.

Plenty of teenagers have little or no problem with restraint.

With that being said, if the OP had to ask, he is not ready.


#15

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